1.

Hey There

Richard Adler - Jerry Ross

© Frank Music, ASCAP

Hey there you with the nose on your face
You have the large economy size
Right there betwixt your eyes
Hey there you're like a switchboard my sweet
Cause all your lines are busy
When you go walkin' down the street

Mmmm where did they get her her with her nose in the breeze
Looks like she smells limburger cheese
Maybe it's her perfume
And since you left me and went home to your mother
It's been so miserable without you dear
It's almost like havin' you here
Let me see you flap one ear and then the other

Hey there are you talkin' to me
Yeah where you goin'
I thought I'd go a fishin'
Goin' fishin'
Yeah
You got worms
Huh
Have you got worms
Well yeah but I'm goin' anyway

Though this gal's got a shape like Marilyn Monroe's brother
You're underworked and you're overfed
Won't you please get out the lead
Is it all goin' in one head and out the other

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2.

Baby It's Cold Outside

Frank Loesser

© Frank Music, ASCAP

with June Carter

*****

3.

Don't Let The Stars Get In Your Eyeballs

Slim Willett - Homer Haynes - Jethro Burns

© Acuff-Rose Music, BMI

This ain't the kiss of fire this aint the jambalya
This is Don't Let The Stars Get In Your Eyes we hope

Her teeth were like the stars above because they come out every night
One two three four
Her hair is so fair she laid it on a chair
Because I see it a layin' there I cocked an eye at her
She cocked an eye at me and we just sit there as cock-eyed as could be

Too many fights too many scars
Too many knots upon my head
Two three four one two three now
Love was in bloom then she lowered the boom
And now I wished that I was dead
She's got me educated my eyes are granulated
Cause she hit me with the sugar bowl
[ mandolin ]
How do you like that string Homer
Boy sounds like more like a compound fracture to me
[ mandolin ]
Anybody else wanna try it
[ steel ]
It's on there keep a huntin'
There it is

Don't let the stars get in your eyes if you've got water on the brain
Two three four five six seven eight
Don't light the flame or you'll be the blame
The spark of love may take your breath
The water starts a streamin' your ears will start to steamin'
And you'll perculate yourself to death
Two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve bingo
Don't let the stars get in your eyeball sockets

**********

4.

Pal-Yat-Chee

Eddie Maxwell - Spike Jones

© Rosen Music, ASCAP

with Spike Jones

When we was in the city we was a wonderin' where to go
A sign spelled out Pal-Yat-Chee up in lights above a show
We thought twould be a western till the stage lit up with light
And ninety-seven people sung without a horse in sight

We couldn't understand 'em cause they spoke a foreign tongue
But we can give you some idea of what we think they sung

Pal-Yat-Chee so mo homo an fanto
All at once there's a fat guy in a clown suit
T'ain't halloween that's for sure
Then this here feller this punchy neller
Begins to beller
Like we all was deef
That was Pal-Yat-chee and he sung

Invest in a tuba and somethin other bout Cuba
He sung about a lady who weighed two-hundred-and-eighty
When she takes a powder he just starts chirpin' louder
And he don't do a gall dern thing cept to stand up there and sing

When we listen to Pal-Yat-Chee we get itchy and scratchy
This sure is top corn so we go and buy some popcorn
We hate to go back but we can't get our dough back
Ain't no use complainin' cause outside it's a rainin'
[ horns ]
Seven hours later we're still in the dern theater
Takin' turns a nappin' waitin' for somethin' to happen
Pal-Yat-Chee he ain't a hurryin'
But the folks on stage are furrin'
And it sounds like catchy turrin' neighbor's dance

Then ole Pal-Yat-Chee finds the guy he's seekin' cheek to cheek
And with his wife he grabs a knife and stabs the louse who stole his spouse
And then he stabs the lady and himself t'ain't very sanitary
They all collapse
But ole Pal-Yat-Che sets up then he gets up
Sings I am dyin' I am dyin' I am dyin' we start cryin'
Cause to tell the truth we are dyin' too

As the footlight fades out
We see Pal-Yat-Chee laid out
But the dagger never caused it
Pal-Yat-Chee was plumb exhausted
Pree dee pon yacho so tan wano

**********

5.

The Huckle Buck

Roy Alfred - Andy Gibson

© Marlow Music, ASCAP

with June Carter

Here's a dance you should know
When the lights are down low
Grab your baby then go
Do the huckle buck do the huckle buck
If you don't know how to do it boy you're out of luck
Push your partner out then you hunch your back
Start a little movement in your sacriliac
Wiggle like a snake waddle like a duck
That's the way you do it when you do the huckle buck

Homer huh
Why don't you and Jethro sing it for all the music lovers
We'll do it

Now you drink some homebrew from some chicken shoe
Chase it with ole mountain dew
Everbody stop we're gonna dance a dab
Grab yourself a chicken just be careful who you grab
Shake a little there shake a little here
Then you double-clutch it and you throw it out of gear
Hold your baby tight swing her to the right
Till her eyeballs start a blinkin' like a caution light
[ guitar ]
If the dance should drag then you grab some old hag
And you jitter bag
Do the huckle buck do it kinda slow
You grab your partner then you shuffle off to Buffalo
Take a dip of snuff dip it kinda loose
If you can't find me cuss me don't just swollow all the juice
Papa's feelin' low I think he's out of luck
Mama told him he's too old to do the huckle buck

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6.

The Billboard Song

Cy Coben - Charles Grean

© Delmore Music, ASCAP

As I was walking down the street a billboard caught my eye
The advertisements written there would make you laugh and cry
The signs were torn and scattered from the storm the night before
And as I read the things they said why this is what I saw

Smoke Coca Cola cigarettes drink Wrigley's Spearmint beer
Ken-L-Ration dog food keeps your wife's complexion clear
Chew chocolate covered mothballs they always satisfy
Brush your teeth with Lifebouy Soap and watch the suds go by
[ mandolin ]
When I recovered from the shock I went upon my way
I'd gone no further than a block when there to my dismay
Another billboard caught my eye and like the one before
The wind and rain had done its work cause this is what I saw

Oh take your next vacation in a brand new Frigidaire
Learn to play pianer in your winter underwear
And Simonize your baby with a Hershey candy bar
See the difference that Drain-o makes in all the movie stars
[ steel ]
Oh doctors proved that babies shouldn't smoke til they are three
People over thirty-five take baths in Lipton's Tea
You can't make this country a better place today
Just buy a record of this song and throw it fur away

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7.

I'm Movin' On No. 2

Hank Snow - Homer Haynes - Jethro Burns

© Hill And Range Songs, BMI

The old hound dog was feelin' fine till he fell in a barrel of turpentine
He's a movin' on he's a movin' on
He passed the gate like an eighty eight he's a movin' on

There was a smart guy from the city and he picked up a stripe'd kitty
He's a movin' on he's a movin' on
We held our nose as we burried his clothes we're a movin' on
[ mandolin ]
I let a man work on my car then he grabbed a hold of a spark plug wire
He's a movin' on he's a movin' on
He turned it loose when he felt the juice he's a movin' on

The old Tom cat was a feelin' mean when he caught his tail in the sewin' machine
He's a movin' on he's a movin' on
He ripped a stitch when he hit the ditch he's a movin' on
[ guitar ]
The old man's face got white as a sheet when he slipped and fell in his cream of wheat
He's a movin' on he's a movin' on
he flapped his ears as he shifted gears he's a movin' on

Uncle John got awful clean when he fell into the washin' machine
He's a movin' on he's a movin' on
He couldn't straddle that doggone paddle he's a movin' on

We travel a lot to make our showin' the way we sing we have to keep goin'
We're a movin' on we're a movin' on
We've gotta go here comes Hank Snow we're a movin' on

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8.

Love And Marriage

Sammy Cahn - James VanHeusen

© Barton Music, ASCAP

*****

9.

Hart Brake Motel

Mae Boren Axton - Tommy Durden - Homer Haynes - Jethro Burns

© Acuff-Rose Music, BMI

Down at the hart brake motel my room it was so small
Ever time I tried to smile my teeth would touch the wall
But I'm a stayin' and a payin' I ain't got room to change my mind

I picked up my telephone the manager said hello
He said what's eatin' you I said that's what I'd like to know
And I'm a itchin' and a scratchin' I'm wearin' out my fingernails
[ guitar ]
I walked up to the room clerk he looked at me and said
You can have a room but you will have to make your bed
I said that's ok buddy I learned that from my maw
Then he reached out and handed me a hammer and a saw

And I'm a nailin' and a whailin' here at the hart brake motel

Here at the hart brake motel I got a room with bath
Back home I only had a room and it just had a path
This outside plumbin' is unbecomin' it's really out of this world

The waiter in the dinin' room he filled my heart with cheer
He said I would enjoy it cause I could eat dirt cheap here
And he was so right that was my last night
And now I'm checkin' out of here

**********

10.

How Much Is That Hound Dog In The Window

Neal Merritt

© Central Songs, BMI

I believe we oughta sing Homer now now

How much is that hound dog in the winder arrrh
I do hope that fleabag's for sale
How much is that hound dog in the winder ark ark ark
The one with the long mangy tail

I'll give you two bits for that hound dog
The one with the sad achin' heart
For he looks so much like my girlfriend
I can't hardly tell 'em apart
[ guitar ]
What kind of dog is that
That is a hotdog Homer
Boy you mustered that up didn't you

I must take a trip to Lousianer
Leave her and that hound dog alone
While I'm eatin' shrimp and jambalier
They'll be home a gnawin' a bone

I don't want a monkey or a bamboon
I don't want a old muley cow
I don''t want a croppy or a catfish
A catfish could never meow
[ mandolin ]
That's cute

How much is that hound dog in the winder
With the basketball nose on it's face
You know what a basketball nose is
It dribbles all over the place

**********

11.

Jam-bowl-liar (Jambalaya)

Hank Williams - Homer Haynes - Jethro Burns

© Acuff-Rose Music, BMI

Jam-bowl-lair

Goodbye ma'm we gotta scram down the highway
Stick out your thumb son of a gun goin' my way
Caught a ride with a guy in a wagon
In a sack on the back he was a draggin'

Jam-bowl-lair shoofly pie nanner puddin'
Cause tonight gonna see ole Sally Goodin'
Danced all night on my feet wore a blister
Had to sidetrack her nose when I kissed her
[ guitar ]
On the couch side by side we was a settin'
And just about the time we started pettin'
Some big hick throwed a brick through the winder
Hit her side hurt her pride broke my finger

Jam-bowl-liar horsemeat pie on a pushcart
Flip my lid always did love that red heart
Kinda rough meat was tough chewed it slow
Almost choked when some bloke holler whoa
[ piano ]
Jam-bowl-liar pizza pie and a bowl of soup beans
Spotted ham and a can of chocolated coated sardines
When we sing sounds just like a cat and dog fight
But we don't sing for money just for spite

Jam-bowl-liar

**********

12.

You Belong To Me No. 2

Pee Wee King - Redd Stewart - Chilton Price

© Ridgeway Music, BMI

Bring me pawpaw's in a paperbowl
Send me money darlin' when I'm broke
Make your will out to me when you croak
You belong to me

Eat some garlic and I'll love you still
Cause I love you and I always will
That's why they discovered chlorophyll
You belong to me

My poor heart would burn without you
Maybe you'll get heartburnt too that's true

Let's cross the ocean in our motorboats
Climb the mountains like the billy goats
Just be careful where you sew your oats
You belong to me
[ mandolin ]
She rolled her big blue eyeballs at me
I picked 'em up and rolled 'em back
You're faded

I hate the day I saw the pyramids
That's the day my heart went on the skids
Now I've got a wife and thirteen kids
They belong to me
Me and Jethro they belong to me
50/50 they belong to me

**********