lp discography - covers & lyrics

1.

GLOSSY 8 x 10

(Ron Hellard) « © '72 Songs Of The Knoll, BMI / Maverick Music, BMI »
Well there I was all alone in this big city
On a three day convention spree
I was thinkin' bout my wife when I met this sweet young thang
So I took her for a drink just her and me

She said honey how'd you like to go over to my place
My heart said no but my lips said yessiree
We got there and we started in kissin'
The lights started flashin' and cameras clickin'
I turned around and this fella says to me

Would you like a glossy 8 x 10 of you and your lady friend
To show the folks back home you had a ball
Now it's suitable for framing just like a famous painting
I'm sure they'd like to hang you on the wall

Would you like one in color to show to your mother
Brother their yours for a song
Course we'll send your wife one free but if you'd rather buy from me
They're fifty bucks a piece you can't go wrong

Well they say there's a sucker born every minute
And I was almost as innocent as can be
Well I walked out of that room with nothing but my shoes
And a stack of pictures my wife won't get to see I hope

Would you like a glossy 8 x 10 of you and your lady friend
To show the folks back home you had a ball
Hey is she a friend of yours
(Now it's suitable for framing)
How much you want for that naked 'en
(Just like a famous painting
I'm sure they'd like to hang you on the wall)
I'd like to hang you on the wall Mister
(Would you like one in color to show to your mother
Brother their yours for a song)
**********

2.

YVONNE CALLING

(Bobby Braddock) « © '72 Tree Publishing, BMI »
Sweet Yvonne I loved her at first sight
I asked her to come by for a cocktail tonight
She told me she'd rather do that than anything
So I sat here in my easy chair waitin' for the doorbell to ring

(Yvonne calling)
Golly she's here already
(Yvonne calling)
I'll just open up this door and let Yvonne in
Come right over here and have a soft I mean a seat on the sofa Yvonne

In no time Yvonne was a kissin' on me
And my dreams became reality
But my dreams were shattered before the night was through
When she said Ben it sure has been a pleasure doin' business with you
It's been a business doin' pleasure with you too

(Yvonne calling)
Get off of that doorbell
(Yvonne calling)
This come as a big surprise to me
I hear my Yvonne callin' my name
(Ben) get away from there Yvonne
(Ben let me in) I'm not gonna let you in no more
Well what do you mean you don't give green stamps
One of these days Yvonne I'm not gonna let you back in
(Come on Ben)
I'm must gonna tell you to go out and paddle your peyro down the bayou
(Let me in Ben)
Yeah that's what I'm gonna tell you I might paddle it for you
**********

3.

TO GET TO YOU NO. 2

(Jean Chapel - Sheb Wooley) « © '72 Acuff-Rose Music, BMI »
I would walk out on my knees to get to you
If I have to hike I'd still bike that'd save my shoes
I can hear them sigh old Ben is high you know it too
But they can't say all the tricks I'll play to get to you

Burn my britches behind me and I'll get to you
Swinging through jungle vines to get to you ohletoohoo
I would swim the Nile full of crocodiles ain't that a crock or two
I would stay up days just to think up ways to get to you

If it's the last thing I do I willl get to you
And it just might be the end of me if I get to you
Sause your old man he only stands about seven foot two
And I'm so afraid I might get waylaid before I get to you

Burn my britches behind me to get to you
And if he ever finds me that's what he'll do
And I know that too
Yes I know my love your one floor above is at 2-0-2
Please dont give up hope just throw down the rope
And I'll get to you
Whooo haha I'm coming darlin'
**********

4.

WAS IT GOOD

(Bobby Braddock) « © '73 Tree Publishing, BMI »
Na na na na na na na na na na na no

A long time ago I swore up and down that I'd be true
And I never thought I'd see the day that I'd run around on you
I know you feel like cussin' me out and beatin' me with your fist
But a girl that drives a beer truck that's somethin' I can't resist

(Was it good was it good)
Well it made me feel like slappin' my grandma cross the head
(Was it good was it good)
Eighteen cases of beer in the middle of a king size bed
Well I feel kinda bad treatin' you so bad after you treated me so good
But after all's said and done I had a lotta fun and baby it was good

Na na na na na na

Ole Ben just wanted to have a little fun that's all
And I give you my word it wasn't really love just alcohol
(Well will you give me your word that you won't ever ever do it anymore)
Well not unless I meet some girl that owns a chain of licker stores
(Was it good) was it good

It's the best I ever had and the best I ever hope ever hope to have
(Was it good Ben) it was good
A weekly supply of Ajax beer is something I'll never regret
And I'll tell you the truth if I had my way I'd still be there
But here I am with my hat in my hand she ran out with the beer
(Was it good) was it good (real good) real good

Na na na na na no
(Oh was it good) real good (how good) nobody could
The best in the world I ever did have chingler lickin' good
(You mean it was really good)
Oh you something else I tell you it was the best
They make really good beer the beer wadn't bad either
**********

5.

PEOPLES NEEDS A PEOPLES

(Sheb Wooley) « © '71 Channel Music, ASCAP »
A people is just an organism wrapped in a piece of skin
Made with bones and blood and muscle all wrapped up within
A people just not self sufficient least I've never been
A peoples needs a peoples now and then

I need a pretty little people like you to see me through
And to help me do the things I want to do
(Want to do want to do)
And with a pretty little people like you we'll be two
And we can do the things two people do
(Peoples do peoples do)
Peoples needs to share together the blessings in the blend
A peoples needs a peoples now and then

A peoples has a lot of feelin's chills and thrills and such
And this skin we're wrapped up in is sensitive to touch
A people so the good book say don't live on bread alone
A peoples needs a peoples of his own

I need a pretty little people like you to see me through...
Yes a peoples needs a peoples now and then
That's right
**********

6.

MOONTAN

(Bobby Braddock) « © '72 Tree Publishing, BMI »
Hey you took a greyhound bus to Fort Lauderdale
(Doodle do la up doodle do la up)
And I went one whole week without a piece of mail
(Doodle do la up doodle do la up)
Now you come back a tellin' me you had yourself a good time
But I don't see one shred of evidence of Florida sunshine
You little son of a gun

You came back from your Florida vacation with a moontan
Clingin' to your scalp were little bitty particles of white sand
There's a little sarcasm in your talk a brand new boldness in your walk
And your complexion is white as chalk you got yourself a moontan

Now you wonder why I'm actin' just a little out of sorts
Cause you've been participatin' in them in-door sports that's why
You're eyes are a little blood shot but the rest of you is snow white
I got a funny feelin' that you did your sunbathin' in the moonlight

You came back from your Florida vacation with a moontan...

(You came back from your Florida vacation with a moontan)
Where did you stay down there at the no tell motel
(Clingin' to your scalp were little bitty particles of white sand)
Don't tell me you found that rock
You're wearin' on your finger down on the beach some place
I'm on to that stuff
I know what's goin' on down there in Florida I got friends down there
I wouldn't go down there as a last resort
What do you think you're pullin on me
(You got yourself a moontan)
I ain't had my head in the sand all this time
What do you think I am
**********

7.

BOTTOMLESS TOPLESS BEACH

(Sheb Wooley) « © '72 Channel Music, ASCAP »
Well me and Homer went out to California
And we gawked around like all them tourists do
And while strollin' on the beach near Santa Barbara
We got our eyes full me and Homer too

We saw bout thirty five people wearin' just what they was born with
And some were wearin' even less than that
Why I required artifical respiration
From this long legged blonde she's wearin' a hat

Twas on the bottomless topless beach in Santa Barbara
Man I couldn't believe my eyes
The bottomless topless beach in California
That's one place you can go without wearin' a tie

There were lots of bodies playin' around in the water
And some were layin' stretched out on the sand
I ask Homer if he thought we'd oughter
He said it seems a delightful way to acquire a tan
All over my body

There's a railroad train that runs right along the water
And there's one place where this nude beach comes in sight
And them little old ladies from down in Pasadena
Why they stand up in their seats and yell ice is right
(Say I can't believe I saw the whole thing)

Twas on the bottomless topless beach in Santa Barbara...
Or a shirt or a pair of pants or socks
Or shorts some guys just aren't required
**********

8.

UNHAPPIEST SQUIRREL IN THE WHOLE U.S.A.

(Sheb Wooley - Donna Fargo) « © '72 Algee Music, BMI / Embassy Music, BMI »
Dern that ole Moon Shine oh what a world it's a gloomdeblabla day
I'm the unhappiest squirrel in the whole USA

Good mornin' morin' hello shunshine ohh my head
When did we move this place looks strange hey this ain't my bed
Hold on a minute I just don't get it what in the world did we do
As it strange wakin' up next to me it sure was strange wakin' up next to you

Went to a wedding oh that's exciting anyone I know
You were the bride you didn't wear them funny lookin' old shoes I hope
I was the what oh the groom has had it this is my wedding day
I'm the unhappiest squirrel in the whole USA

What'd you mean we've got six kids how in the world could that be
Cause sometime last night was the very first time that you ever saw me
I didn't know I was quite so prolefic how much will the welfare pay
To the unhappiest squirrel in the whole USA

Dern that ole Moon Shine oh what a world it's a gloomdeblabla day
I'm the unhappiest squirrel in the whole USA
Dern that ole Moon Shine oh what a world it's a gloomdeblabla day
I'm the unhappiest squirrel in the whole USA
**********

9.

WHATEVER TURNS YOU ON

(Bobby Braddock - Sheb Wooley) « © '72 Tree Publishing, BMI »
Sweet little Mary Ann Ann big country music fan
Plays a Roy Clark record with a hot guitar lick
While I flip her on the earlobe with a Chet Atkins pick
She starts a comin' on strong she says that turns her on

Whatever turns you on
(Lovin' love and stormy weather)
What ever turns you on
(June is better)
No need to be ashamed of yourself
Just as long as you ain't hurtin' nobody else
Don't let 'em steer you wrong do whatever turns you on

This nutty guy named Hub Hub he joined the Alaskan Club
Old Hub is a guy who can not take a dare
He wrestled the lady Eskimo and made love to a bear
Way up there north of Nome I guess that's what turned him on

And this squirrely girl friend of mine keeps at me all the time
To take her out in my old pickup truck
And kiss her on the tummy while I quack like a duck
(Quack quack)
I think I 'm quackin' up what ever turns you on

Whatever turns you on
(Olives pickles and fig newtons)
What ever turns you on
(You're dern tootin')
No need to be ashamed of yourself
Just as long as you ain't hurtin nobody else
And doin' long and strong do whatever turns you on

Whatever turns you on
But remember you gotta take the responsibility for your own behavior
(Whatever turns you on)
You got to be nice sometimes too if it feels good do it
**********

10.

I REALLY HAD A GOOD TIME AT YOUR PARTY

(Eddy Raven) « © '72 Milene Music, ASCAP »
Hello darlin' we just got up ooh I was high last night
Thought I'd better just give you a call and see if everything's alright

Hey I really had a good time at your party I didn't start that fight
I really had a good time at your party OK so I got a little tight alright

I don't remember wearin' no lampshade or lightbulb in my ear
No nothin' bout you Jane me Tarzan swingin' from a chandelier

I really had a good time at your party I didn't mean to fall in the cage
I really had a good time at your party I think I stepped on your kid's skate

I hope your landlord's dried off this mornin' I swear I thought he could swim
You know he didn't even stop over and thank me for jumpin' in and savin' him

Well I really had a good time at your party cuttin' up and actin a fool
Really had a good time at your party throwin' people in the pool

You know the heavy set girl in the red bikini I paid her a compliment
I said you dont sweat much for a fat girl that's when your lamp got bent

And I really had a good time at your party yes that's when we broke your chair
If I'd a known she was wearin' a wig I never would have pulled her hair

Well I really had a good time at your party hey did you get your picture window fixed
(I really had a good time at your party) you did say throw the cat out didn't you
I really had a good time at your party ooh the drinks we mixed
**********