lp discography - covers & lyrics

1.

ALMOST PERSUADED NO. 2

(Billy Sherrill - Glenn Sutton - Sheb Wooley) « © '66 Al Gallico Music, BMI »
Last night I stumbled in to a barroom
I met a girl with a pint in her purse
She was cute as two speckled puppies
And I said Ben you could do worse

Then I walked across a room full of tables
Walked across her table too
And I flopped myself down in a chair
And said hi there
She whispered my name is Mabel
And all I could say was hi there

I said permit me to introduce myself Ben Colder here
She said it ain't been no colder here than anyplace else

I had her almost persuaded
What happened to the do del do del do... piano... thank you
To slip strip herself of her pride
Almost persuaded to slip me a drink on the side

Then we danced and we danced and we danced and we danced
That is I thought I was dancin' somebody stepped on my hand
Then I looked in her eyes and I saw it
The reflection of my wedding band

And I thought that sure is strange I ain't even married
What it was it was my wrist watch

I had her almost persuaded
Once more there Hargus
To come and be my own
Smart alec
(Almost persuaded)
Then her boyfriend came and made me go home
**********

2.

TIME AFTER TIME

(Jack Clement) « © '60 Songs Of PolyGram, BMI »
I want to introduce our lovely singing group
Commercial Hershel and the Hershelaires

That over there's Hershel that's Hershel over there
And Mersel and Fred
(Ooooooh)
Fred would you mind moving just a little bit fella

Now I want to here it all together once
(Ooooooh)
Oh that tears me up
Now the lovely introduction that you worked up before

(Time after time)
Time after time after time after time after time after time
After time after time after time after time after time
After time after time after time

After time (after time) after time after time (after time)
After time (after time) after time after time after time

Hummmm that's what's known as music city USA as an half tone modulation
It's extreamly intricate and difficult
Besides it's hard to do
Hummmm especially if you happen to be a tone deaf hillbilly
Wait a minute group you you you gotta unmodulate a little bit you went too far

Time after time after time after time after time after time
After time after time after time after time after time
After time after time after time

After time (after time) after time after time (after time)
After time (after time) after time after time after time

Let me hear the hurt now yes
Because you know darling
When you did all the days where all so
And I just couldn't aren't they
Move over a little bit Fred would you move over just a little bit Fred
Thank you
But I hope some day you would and then you did and I will too
Don't lose your cool now Fred
**********

3.

I LOVE YOUR PIZZA

(Cy Coben) « © '61 Delmore Music, ASCAP »
Ya know two of the nicest people that we've ever met since we've been here
Is Sam and Mrs Carnegie
And I tell and I just wanna say thank you to Sam and the madam
For havin' us over to their house
They fixed supper for us
And Mrs Carnegie is just a wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful

Oh Angelina I love your pizza
Sprickeled o'er with lots of sausage
Lots of garlic and anchovies
Across a motsarella

Dear Angelina I do love your pizza
When you use them red hot peppers
You fill-full-full-fill your great desire
To set the world on fire

Pour me a little of that wine to put out the fire here
Ummmmmm
[ piano ] Thank you Hargus you're in there

Napoleon you have seen his picture
With his hand inside his vest
Because of heart burned in his chest
He got from eating pizza

Those foreign foods like turnip greens
Hamburgers hot dogs and beans
I gave them up cause nothing beats-a
American dish a pizza
**********

4.

MAKE THE WORLD GO AWAY NO. 2

(Hank Cochran - Sheb Wooley) « © '66 Tree Publishing, BMI »
Make the world go away and get it off of Ben Colder
Cause I don't feel so good today
Make the world go away

I was the life of the party at least that's what they say
Until a policeman came on the scene
Then I got carried away

Make the world go away and get this lump off of my shoulder
Cause I feel like excuse me chair today
Make the chair go away

Yes it was there at the party we swore to be true for life
And she went home to her husband and I went home to my wife
I tell you I drunk so much last night my hair hurts
That's why I say

Make the world go away and get it off of Ben Colder
On second thought the world can stay
Just make my head go away

(Make the world go away)
Don't sing it children it makes my head hurt
(And get it off of Ben Colder)
I tell you one thing I'm not gonna drink anymore
(Cause I don't feel so good today)
I ain't gonna drink any less either
(Make the world go away)
Make everybody go away
(Make the world go away)
Make the singers go away
(And get it off of Ben Colder)
**********

5.

I WALK THE LINE NO. 3

(Johnny Cash - Sheb Wooley) « © '66 House Of Cash, BMI »
Hummmmmm
As sure as day is dark and night is light
Hey I don't think that I just said that right
Well anyway I'm flying high tonight
I feel fine I walk the line

Hummmmmm
You skinny little dickens
I find it very very easy to be true
But the question is to be true to who
Cause I ain't got no one to be true to
Any offers (yea) thank you wait in the bus
[ guitar ] Yeah Leroy get your lick in

Hummmmmm
There's a winding road that runs right by my shack
It was late last night when I started back
When the patrol man he drove right up behind
I paid the fine I couldn't walk the line
[ guitar ] Leroy your hogging the show son

(Still) Ah there's the group gettin' their lick in
[ piano ] Ah and there's Hargus baby
This is the hard part here boys and girls
'scuse me ladies

Hummmmmm
I find it very very hard to hit these notes
But that's the lowdown way this darned song is wrote
I think I'll get me a little something to wet my throat
Little of this 'em embalming fluid

Ahummmmmmm I'll be ready in a minute

Hummmmmm hummmm that's good
Alright I tell you what I want everybody give everybody in this room a drink right now
I tell you what get everybody in this room a drink right now
And make darn sure you collect for it too
Hummmmmm
You know I don't want you folks to think that I drink up here on stage
Just because Dean Martin and some of them big stars do
I know I just like to drink that's all
Now let's see if I can sing my way out of this mess
Give me a still there just one time now group
(Still)
Now I got it
I keep my eye propped open all the time
I keep my arms out for you Clementine
I keep my pants up with a little piece of twine
Please be mine and you can pull the (still)
It's been wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful
And let's all go to the bar now for a little touch
Oh I don't like that smart alecky piano player around just can't stand it there jealous
Commercial Hershal and all Mershall and all them Fred especially
Fred let me from you
Ahhhhhhhh Ok that's it Freddie
**********

6.

I'M THINKING TONIGHT OF MY BLUE EYES

(A.P. Carter) « © '66 Peer International, BMI »
Oh I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes
Who is sailing far over the sea
Oh I'm thinking tonight of her only
And I wonder if she ever thinks of me

Would been better for us both if we had never
In this wild wicked world never met
For the pleasures we've both seen together
I am sure love I'll never forget

Oh I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes
Who is sailing far over the sea
Oh I'm thinking tonight of her only
And I wonder if she ever thinks of me

In this cruel cruel world all around me
Won't you come love and shed just one tear have a beer
For a link in the chain has been broken
Leaving me with a sad and aching heart

You know what she did she just got on that dern boat
She didn't even wave at me she just waved at the dock
She'd been goin' to her little doctor see
I thought about going after her
But I didn't have my water skates skies
Get's you right here don't it Fred uh huh
Sad song it's another sad song
Oh I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes
**********

7.

MAY THE BIRD OF PARADISE FLY UP YOUR SNOOT

(Neal Merritt - Sheb Wooley) « © '66 Central Songs, BMI »
I asked Little Jimmy Dickens how it felt
To have a hit record hot enough to melt
He said don't you try to top me he ain't big enough to stop me
Cause he stood right there and looked me in the belt and he said

May the bird of paradise fly up your snoot
May some friendly canibals have you in for soup
And on payday when the eagle spreads the loot
May that old big headed bird fly up your snoot
[ guitar ] With a sweet young thang once I was holdin' hands
She said don't you think it's time we made some plans
She thought it would be fine to exchange her name for mine
And now her name's Ben and mine is Mary Ann and she said

May the bird of paradise fly up your snoot
May the moths eat holes in your best Sunday suit
May you be blessed with something called the croup
May the fancy feathered bird fly up your snoot
[ guitar ] Well a friend of mine who travells far from home
Said take good care of Susie while I'm gone
He got home last Tuesday and I was takin' care of Susie
And I heard him sayin' as he broke my bones

May the bird of paradise fly up your snoot
May some friendly canibals have you in for soup
And on payday when eagle spreads the loot
May that old big headed bird fly up your snoot

Sing it again may the bird of paradise fly up your snoot...
**********

8.

BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BANJO

(Jack Clement) « © '66 Songs Of PolyGram, BMI »
I had a wife named Lilly and I did love her really
But her love for me grew chilly she called me a no good hillbilly

Well now beautiful beautiful banjo
Beautiful a beautiful a banjo beautiful
A beautiful banjo I'll never pick guitar again

My second wife's name was Mazie she said I wish you'd get a job
That pickin' is a drivin' me crazy you no good banjo pickin' slob

Well now it's a beautiful beautiful banjo...

Now let's all gather round and modulate right into the microphone
You ready a humm
[ banjo ] Wait a minute that key ain't on this particular banjo
Hey ho eh let's try another key for it
Wait a minute why even a tone deaf hillbilly knows better than that
Hargus would you would you give me the right key
[ piano ] Just one more time
[ piano ] I got it

My third wife's name was Annie the love that we knew was uncanny
But our love fell flat on it's fanny when she kicked my old banjo

Well now it's my a beautiful beautiful banjo...

You know she just kicked the skin right off of it
Broke my G strings it ruined things oh I love that Hershel
Once more with a great gusto

Beautiful a beautiful beautiful banjo...
**********

9.

PACKETS AND PENCILS

(Sheb Wooley) « © '66 Channel Music, ASCAP »
Packets of pencils (packets of pencils)
And parcels of paper (parcels of paper)
I stamp them and seal them (stamp them and seal them)
And I send them to you (send them to you)
I pray the postman (I pray the postman)
To pring them with pluebird (pring them with pluebird)
Pulled by the pounding (pulled by the pounding)
By the plop on the ploom

What's the words now group
(Blinded by bleep) blinded by bleep
(And the blare on the ploom) let me hear the bleep
(Failing my I pray) yes failing my pray
(.....) sing a little softer
Blind with the bleep) how sweet it is
(And the part on the petal) now with great plueblird
(Paying the price of a plop on a ploom)

Repeat after me
Keeping a care (keepin' a care)
Of the kind on the coddle (kind on the coddle)
I traded my cart (traded my cart)
For a kleg full of klugt (keg full of klugt)
Clutched by the craving (clutched by the craving)
Of klug from the kroddle (klug from the kroddle)
Clearning the klice (clearing the klice)
And I 'm klittin' the klug
Yes I'm quittin' it I tell you

(Packets of pencils) packets of pencils
(And parcels of paper) parcels of paper
(Stamp them and seal them) stamp them and seal them
(And send them to you) send them to you
I pray the postman (I pray the postman)
(To pring them with pluebird to pring them with pluebird
(Pulled by the pounding) pulled by the pounding
Of the plop on the ploom
Pulled by the pounding of the plop on the ploom
**********

10.

I WISH I'D STAYED IN BED

(Jerry Reed Hubbard) « © '66 ATV Songs, BMI »
(Ra da da dat whoa ho ra da da dat whoa ho)

Well I wish I hadn't a got up this morning
I wish I'd a stayed in the bed
Cause when I got up
There on the dresser was a note and here's what it said
If you thought I was asleep when you snuck in
About a quarter past three but I wadn't you see
Cause you didn't see me seeing you sneakin' in again

(Ra da da dat whoa ho ra da da dat whoa ho)

Well there I stood a hangin' on the dresser
With a hangover hangin' over me
Well I read your note from start to finish
Well it said you were finished with me
Well it wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't felt so bad
But I felt so bad mostly in my head
When I read what your letter said I wish I'd stayed in bed

When I got up this morning outta that nice warm sack
I read what you wrote and my poor heart broke
I felt like crawlin' right back in the sack

Gonna pick up the phone call up the paper and run me a classified ad
To my darlin' wife the love of my life sayin' sorry I treated you so bad
Well the ads gonna read I'm smartin' at the heart
And a smartin' eart really tears you apart
If the smartin' in your heart smarts like the smartin' in my heart
[ guitar ] Did you ever get up in the morning like I got up this morning
Well I guess you have cause everybody does you can't sleep all your life

I'm gonna pick up the phone call up the paper and run me a classified ad
To my darlin' wife the love of my life sayin' sorry I treated you so bad
Well the ads gonna read I'm smartin' at the heart and a smartin' heart
Really tears you apart if the smartin' in your heart
Smarts like the smartin' in my heart smarts

(Ra da da dat whoa ho ra da da dat whoa ho)
**********

11.

UNDERTAKER'S LOVE LAMENT

(Vincent Matthews) « © '66 Songs Of PolyGram, BMI »
My name is Digger Colder I'm a mortician
Let me get a little more of this embalming fluid
And we'll get the procession under way

Well I undertook to be an undertaker
And she undertook to be this undertaker's wife
But a nonundertaker over took her
And they undermine this undertaker's life

Oh I dare not to send her lilies
Or to say I dig you the most
She never liked our long black Cadillac
Or me in a long black coat

Then I undertook to bury all my troubles
I undertook to throw myself into my work
But that was such a grave undertaking
And I never did learn to like the taste of dirt

Oh I never could convience her
My cold hands just meant a warm heart
She didn't dig all them cadivers what's a cadaver
You might say till death did us part

Now I've undertaken the thought that consoles me
Her best laid plans are bound to run aground
Cause everybody's gotta come here some day
Then I'm really gonna put that woman down

Oh they won't say that she looks natural
Cause she frowned down upon this place
And the last time I'm ever gonna see her
I'll put a big smile all over her silly face

Cause you know when she went shovellin' off
Then I realized that I'd dug her the most
Although she threw dirt in my face
That's a pretty grave situation you know
I think that's what started my coughin'
Then I went on ahead and I bought her a stone a tombstone of course
Then I called my mother on the phone and I said to her
I said mommmmmmie
**********