lp discography - covers & lyrics

1.

HARPER VALLEY P.T.A. (LATER THE SAME DAY)

(Tom T. Hall - Jack Clement - Sheb Wooley) « © '68 Newkeys Music, BMI / Acuff-Rose Music, BMI »
(The day that widow Jones sock it to the Harper Valley PTA)

Order order I'll have a cheeseburger and a small beer
Seriously boys I would like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley AA a PTA
Why there's Bobby Taylor you son of a gun

I was just strollin' along the street tonight on my way to Kelly's bar
And I saw your sign outside that said PTA
I thought that meant Party Time Already
So here I am and I'm havin' a lot of fun you bunch of son of a guns
Mr Baker widow Brown Shirley baby
Mr Peyton and distinguished guests you bunch of son of a guns

Hey Mrs Johnson Mrs Johnson
You say old Bobby Taylor sittin' there and seven times he asked you for a date
Well that's shockin's
Hang right in there Bobby she'll probably come around if you'll just wait
And I can tell you why Mr Baker's secretary up and left this town
She was expectin' to get a lot better job with Brown and Brown in another town

Mrs Johnson do you happen to be a grass widow
That makes you a Johnson grass widow
Mrs Johnson has posed the question
Should widow Brown be told to keep her window shades pulled completely down
To pull or not to pull that is the question
Well I'll leave ot to a vote now how do you vote (no) You bunch of son of a guns
I think you made a wise choice it beats watching TV
Now that brings us up to Shirley Thompson's breath
Perhaps I shouldn't brought that up tell the green phantom
Hey you are all really a bunch of swingers and I've sure had a lot of fun
Yeah this is just a little Peyton Place and you're all Harper Valley son of a guns
This is just a little Peyton Place and you're all Harper Valley son of a guns
Son of a guns
**********

2.

LITTLE GREEN APPLES NO.2

(Bobby Russell - Sheb Wooley) « © '68 PolyGram Int, ASCAP »
And I come home late at night and try to tiptoe in her room
And she says my my
And I stumble over the rocking chair and my poor head hits the floor goodnight
It smarts
And there she's standing over me and gives me such a look
And I try to hide my bloodshot eyes I know my goose is cooked

And I say honey I can explain this
I've been eatin' little green apples
And I think maybe a little nap will do me good
She said all the noise you're making Ben
Is goin' to wake up everybody in the neighborhood
But I've been eatin' the little green apples
And to lay my poor head in your lap will make me fine
And now myself is feeling low I look into her eyes aglow and so am I

Hey honey I learned a new dance tonight
It's called Green Apple Quick-step
It's a real goer

(Now Ben don't come home a drinking with dancing on your mind)
It's on my mind son of a gun
(What do you mean coming home half drunk)
Well I tell ya I ran outta money that's what
(Okay now come on Ben it's time for you to go to bed)
Well might as well I'm goin' in trouble when I get home anyway
You know I'm just kiddin' don't you honey I'm just kiddin'
All I've been doing is oh honey I'll tell you

I've been eatin' little green apples I think maybe a little nap will do me good
So put a cold towel on my head and go to put old Big Ben to bed I wish you would
I've been eatin' the little green apples
And to lay my poor head in your lap will make me fine
And now myself is feeling low I look into her eyes aglow and so am I
**********

3.

IT'S SUCH A PRETTY WORLD TONIGHT

(Dale Noe - Sheb Wooley) « © '66 Freeway Music, BMI »
It's such a pretty world tonight
(Look at the moonshine) hand me the moonshine
Well thank you dear you sure are good to me
You're such a pretty girl tonight
(But wait till the sun shines)
(Have some more moonshine)
Every drink I take you get prettier to me

And though the rain may fall
Well we would all get wet wouldn't we
Well a little water ain't gonna hurt me none
If I don't swallow any of it

(It's such a pretty world tonight)
Is that really moonshine
(It's really moonshine)
I believe I'll have another little nip
[ steel ] With just a drink or two all my skies turn brew a blue
And I apprecilate havin' a little drink with you

You're such a pretty girl tonight
You are my s-h-unshine
(You're my s-h-unshine)
You're you're my s-h-unshine
(You're My s-h-unshine)
No you are mine
(No You're My s-h-unshine)
It s-h-ays here that you're my s-h-unshine
You are my s-h-unshine
Let's have s-h-ome more moonshine
**********

4.

FLYING TIME

(Buck Owens - Sheb Wooley) « © '68 Tree Publishing, BMI »
Well it's flying time again here comes Ben Colder
You can see that little twinkle in my eye
Now most of you have never seen me sober
That's because it's almost always flying time

The doctor says that too much booze'll harm you
But my uncle dranked at least a fifth a day
Now don't that prove that it won't really hurt you
Cause he lived to be a ripe old twenty eight

Besides there's a lot more ole drunks than they are ole doctors
You know I would've been a lawyer but I couldn't pass a bar
Now I only drink to forget
But sometimes I forget what it is I'm tryin' to forget

Just a little nip will make the heart grow fonder
And too much brew is bound to make you go grow
Personally I like somethin' a little stronger
So give me a mart of quartinies to go
**********

5.

LOVE-IN

(Sheb Wooley) « © '67 Channel Music, ASCAP »
A poem by Ben Colder
A group of liberal thinkers bathly sudden washstink thinkers
Got together for a Love In near our town
There were rows and rows of hippies
Some yippies and some chippies
Act today trippers wine sippers
Society spurners card burners
Liberal thinkers love in near our town

One super hippie feller his hair was long and yeller
And a ringlet from his left ear dangled down
And there was a real hip chick wearin' psychodelic lipstick
At the day trippers glue sniffers society spurners card burners
Liberal thinkers love in near our town

Long haired head banded hippies and flower wearin' chippies
And togetherness was visible all around on the ground
But I'll tell you what the worse is there were fellas carryin' purses
At the day trippers wine sippers society spurners card burners
Liberal thinkers love in near our town

They talked about magic powers and they ate up all the flowers
And the night sticks came and gathered all around
The sleepin' bags were spread out but the cops said get the lead out
At the day trippers glue sniffers society spurners card burners
Liberal thinkers love in near our town

At the hip swingers bell dingers bananna smokers cork soakers
Liberal thinkers love in near our town
**********

6.

FOLSOM PRISON BLUES NO. 1 1/2

(Johnny Cash - Sheb Wooley) « © '68 House Of Cash, BMI »
Hello I'm Ben Colder

I hear the train a comin' it's rollin' down the track
It's comin' to Folsom Prison to bring me a six pack
It's nice in Folsom Prison the warden's a swell guy
But when I hear that lonesome whistle I feel like I could die

When I was just a baby my mama put me down
Said you are just a baby don't take your guns to town
I shot a DJ up in Reno he wouldn't play my song
Now the DJ's round the country they play me loud and long
[ guitar ] Hey whatch's that little ole lady doin' in here
(I'm just here to get my baby out of jail)
[ guitar ] I'll bet there's rich folks eatin' in them fancy dinin' cars
They're probably smokin' coffee and drinkin' black cigars
I knew I's gonna mess that up I never get it right
But when I hear that lonesome whistle I feel like I could die

Warden said ya'll not supposed to do that
When I sing that that's a no no

If they freed me from this prison I'd make like Jesse James
If ya'll won't tell the warden I'll steal this dadburn train
Bust through the walls of Folsom and make that whistle cry like this
And if ya'll'd be nice fellas I'd take you for a ride
I said a ride I didn't say die
**********

7.

ODE TO THE LITTLE BROWN SHACK OUT BACK

(Billy Ed Wheeler) « © '65 Quartet Music, ASCAP / Bexhill Music, ASCAP »
May I have your attention outhouse lovers of America I have bad news
They passed an ordinance in the town and said we'd have to tear it down
(Oh man why)
This little ole brown shack out back (oh no man)
It's so dear to me (they can't do that)
Yes the health department said it's day is over and dead
(What do they know they don't know at all)
But it will live forever in my mem'ry (oh yes)
Are we gonna let 'em tear it down (noooooooo never)
We're gonna march down there nnd we're gonna protect our squatters rights
Now let's sing the victory song one two three

Don't let 'em tear that dear ole building down
Don't let them tear that little brown building' down
(Don't let them tear that little brown building down)
For there's not another like it in the country or the town
(Kind of hard to think)

It was not so long ago that I went trippin' through the shnow
Out to that house behind my ole hound dog
Where I'd sit me down to rest like a snowbird on his nest
And read the Sears and Roebuck catalogue

I would hum a happy tune peepin' through the quarter moon
As my daddy's kin had done before
It was in that quiet spot daily cares could be forgot
And it gave the same relief to rich or poor

Don't let 'em tear that little brown building down
Don't let 'em tear that dear ole building down
(Don't let them tear that little brown building down)
Sock it to 'em Mrs Miller
For there's not another like it in the country or the town
(That's tellin' them that'll be alright)

It was not a castle fair but I could dream my future there
And build my castles to the yellow jackets drone
I could orbit round the sun fight with General Washington
Or be a king upon the golden throne

It wasn't fancy built at all we had newspapers on the wall
And it was air-conditioned in the winter time
It was just an humble hut but it's door was never shut
And a man could get inside without a dime

Don't let 'em tear that little brown building down
Dont let them tear that little brown building down
(Don't let them tear that little brown building down)
For there's not another like it in the country or the town
**********

8.

BEN COLDER'S HISTORY BOOK

(Sheb Wooley - Jack Speirs) « © '68 Channel Music, ASCAP »
Good Evenin' Ladies and Gentlemen of the Historical Society
You know in discussing history
Some people say well it's over and done with so let's forget about it
But we should remember we should remember Nathan Hale
Patrick Henry Tennessee Ernie Grandpa Jones
Oh my subject for this evening is great moments in American history

I'd like to start with the Boston Tea Party
I just like to start with a party
Well you know what they were doin' is they were protestin' against taxes
(Remember the Alamo) Sit down Tex I said taxes
Now it is true that George Washington was the father of our country
He admitted it he said I can't not tell a lie I did it with my little hatchet
Oh no I guess that was another story

Anyway George had this friend that just loved horseback ridin'
His name was Paul Revere
And one time he went out ridin' across the country side in the middle of the night
And yellin' and wakin' everybody up
He might 've been at one of them Tea Parties
Anyway this girl named Betsy Ross
Well she was up late doing some sewin' so she flagged him down
She said Paul Revere you'd better cut out all that yell'in'
Don't you know the British are comin'

It was Nathan Hale who said
I regret that I only have one life to give for my country
Them sun of a guns said aww that's alright we'll just take the one you got
And Ole Patrick Henry jumped up and said
I know not what course others may take but as for me
That all girl chorus looks pretty good

And it was at Bunker Hill
That somebody said don't shoot till you see the whites of their eyes
Well the trouble with that was
Them Red Coats had been on a wild party the night before
You couldn't tell their red coats from their red eyes

And who can ever forget when Admiral Dewey said to his capitan
You may fire goodly when ready so he fired goodly
As you probably know Ben Franklin was one of the luckiest guys in all history
But you know one cold winter day the gas company turned off his utilities
He asked 'em to turn 'em back on but they told him to go fly a kite
He did and invented electricity won an all electric home
Course the gas company didn't get much of a charge out of that
Now in closing I'd like to give you Lincoln's Gettysburg address
It's 117 1/2 East 6th Street I don't know the zip code
**********

9.

TEN LITTLE BOTTLES

(Johnny Bond) « © '62 Red River Songs, BMI »
A friend of mine gave me ten little bottles
Of some special stuff that he'd brewed up hisself
But one day I was samplin' it a little you know just a touch
My wife found out about it
I had it hid down in the basement you see
And she says you go down there and get rid of that or else
Well since I didn't like the way she said or else
I went down there and proceeded to carry out her instructions
Well I set the rest of these bottles up on the drainboard
I picked up the first bottle and I pulled the cork out of it
And I poured it down the sink
That is all except one little swaller which I drank
I picked up the next bottle and I pulled the sink out of it
And I poured it down the sink
All except one little swallow which I drink
I picked up the next cork and I pulled the sink out of it
And I poured it down the bottle
All except one tiny little swallow which I sank
I usually have a little difficulty with this number
You see I come from a great long line of stink eh drinkers
I had an uncle once he drank a quart a day everyday of his life
No kiddin' he could drink a quart an not even stagger
He couldn't even move we told him we said
You'd better quit drinkin that stuff it's gonna kill you
Sure enough it killed him
He died last year at the age of 102
Don't laugh we dug him up last week
And he looks better than ya'll do now
We got back here he ask me
What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic
Well I'm gonna tell you
Us drunks don't have to attend all them danged ole meetings
Listen you may talk about me
But I tell you one thing
You'd better not say anyting against my wife
Cause I'll have you know I'll have you know
That I got the wifest little nice in the whole New Nited States
**********

10.

COUNTRY MUSIC HALL OF FAME

(Glenn Sutton - Sheb Wooley) « © '68 Channel Music, ASCAP »
(I dreamed I was there with the stars)

Last night I dreamed I went on a tour
Through the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville Tennesse
And my guide was none other than America's most beloved cowboy Tex Ritter
First we stood outside and he said this is the place where Big Joe Talbet
Threw the detergent in the fountain here at the CMA
And made such a mountain of suds
That it floated down the 16th Avenue and engulfed Columbia Studio
Then we went inside and he said here in the first section
You will see the actual boots that Ernest Tubb wore
The night he wrote that fantastic smash I'm Walking The Floor Over You
You'll notice that the soles are a little thin but then so is Ernest
He said this is the actual fiddle bow that fiddlin' Chubby used on stage
The night he knocked the toupee off of the little cowboy
And this is the actual toupee that the little cowboy wore
You'll notice that it's still attached to the fiddle bow
And this is the little cowboy you'll notice he's still attached to the toupee
Aw he showed me many wonderful thing
He even showed me the pulley bone from Minnie Pearl's first fried chicken
And he gave me an autographed picture
Of America's most beloved cowboy on his wonder horse White Flash
And showed me a list of all the people
That would be entered in the Music Hall of Fame
In the next ten to fifteen years
I started to read
Jack Clement Merv Shiner Jim Vienneau
Bonnie Guitar and her sister Fender
Cy Coben Ben Colder
Ben Colder well that's when I woke up and I'm kinda sorry I did
Because I figure that's as about as close as I'm ever gonna get
To the Country Music Hall of Fame
**********

11.

YOU'RE A REAL GOOD FRIEND

(Cy Coben - Sheb Wooley) « © '56 Delmore Music, ASCAP / Anne Rachel Music, ASCAP »
Now friends I have a very special guest in the house
I wish you'd give him a little hand and get him up here don't over do it
My good friend Mr Sheb Wooley

Doggone Sheb it's real good to have you up here with us
You are you are a real good friend
(Thank you Ben I feel the same way about you)

(When I was broke and blue) I gave advice to you
(You're a real good friend)
But you helped me pay my rent (I charged you ten percent)
Ah you're a real good friend
(When I was sick Old Scout) I took your girlfriend out
On me you can depend
(Oh what a pal you were) yeah I even married her
(You're a real good friend)
[ guitar ] Hey Sheb have a cigar or two
(That's mighty nice of you you're a real good friend)
But don't stand to close to me it might blow up you see
(You're a real good friend)

I borrowed your car last night (you brought it back alright
Smashed from end to end)
I may have had a crash but I filled it up with gas
(You're a real good friend)
[ steel ] (We honky tonked all last night) we painted the town alright
We're such real good friends
(I spent a lot of dough) but it was all mine you know
(You're a real good friend)

If I should ever be Govenor of Tennessee
I'll prove my friendship thing
Now what would you do for me dog catcher is what you'd be
(You're a real good friend)

(Ahha aw man you're a good friend to me)
[ guitar ] I recorded the song you wrote and I sang it note for note
(Thanks my real good friend)
I think it's gonna be a hit so I put my name on it
(You're a real good friend)
(Let's sing a sweet duet we'll make a team I'll bet
Let our voices blend)
(I'll sing the melody) I sing the harmony
Cause we're both real good friends
**********