lp discography - covers & lyrics

1.

LULLABYS LEGENDS AND LIES

(Shel Silverstein) « © '73 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Gather round fellows I'll tell you some tales
About murder and blueberry pies
And heroes and hells and bottomless wells
And lullabys legends and lies
And gather round ladies come sit at my feet
I'll sing about warm sunny skies
There's mermaids and beans and lovin' machines
In my lullabys legends and lies

Lullabys legends and lies and lies
Lullabys legends and lies
I'll sing you a song then I'll shuffle along
With my lullabys legends and lies

I may make you wonder I may make you smile
I may bring the tears to your eyes
But when I disappear Lord you'll wish I was here
With more lullabys legends and lies
So open the bottle and pass a guitar
And look in my warm lovin' eyes
I'll take you to places you ain't been before
With my lullabys legends and lies

Lullabys legends and lies...
**********

2.

PAUL

(Shel Silverstein) « © '73 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Well he rode through the woods on a big blue ox
He had fists as hard as choppin' blocks
Five hundred pounds and nine feet tall that's Paul

Talk about working when he swung his ax
You could hear it ring for a mile and half
He'd yell timber and down she'd fall for Paul

Talk about drinkin' that man's so mean
That he'd never drink nothin' but kerosene
A five gallon can is a little bit small for Paul

Talk about women that man's so lusty
Needs a woman ever hour just to keep from gettin' rusty
Young ones run and the old ones crawl to Paul

Talk about tough well he once had a fight
With a thunderstorm on a cold dark night
I ain't sayin' who won but it don't storm at all round here thanks to Paul

He was ninety years old when he said with a sigh
Said I think I'm gonna lay right down and die
Cause sunshine and sorrow I've seen it all says Paul

Says there ain't no man alive can kill me
Ain't no woman left can thrill me
And I think a heaven just might be a ball says Paul
So he died and we cried

It took eighteen men just to bust that ground
Took three or four more just to lower him down
Then we covered him up and we figured that was all for Paul

But late one night the trees started shaking
And the dogs started barking and the earth started quaking
And out of the ground with the hi ye all came Paul

Well he shook the dirt from off his clothes
He scratched his ass and wiped his nose
You know being dead wasn't no fun at all says Paul

He said now up in heaven they got harps on their knees
They got clouds and wings but they got no trees
I don't think that's much of a heaven at all says Paul

So he jumps on his ox with a fare thee well
He said I'll find out if they got trees in hell
And he rode away and that was all we ever seen of Paul

Butthe next time you hear a timber yell
That sounds like it's comin' from the pits of hell
Then a boomin' laugh and a ghostly wail
Like somebody choppin' on the devil's tail
Then a shout and a call a crash and a fall
That ain't no mortal man at all that's just Paul
**********

3.

MARIE LEVEAU

(Shel Silverstein - Baxter Taylor) « © '71 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Down in Louisiana where the black trees grow
Lives a voodoo lady named Marie Leveau
She got a black cat tooth and a mojo bone
And anyone wouldn't leave her alone
She go (greeeeeee) another man done gone

She lives in a swamp in a hollow log
With a one eyed snake and a three legged dog
She got a bent bony body and stringy hair
And if she ever seen you all messin' round there
She go (greeeeeee) another man done gone

And then one night when the moon was black
Into the swamp come Handsome Jack
A no good man like you all know
When he was lookin' around for Marie Leveau

He said Marie Leveau you lovely witch
Gimme little charm that'll make me rich
Gimme million dollars and I tell you what I'll do
This very night I'm gonna marry you
And it'll be ummmmmmm another man done gone

So Marie done some magic and she shook a little sand
Made a million dollars and she put it in his hands
Then she giggled and she wiggled and she said hey hey
I'm gettin' ready for my weddin' day

But ol' Handsome Jack he said goodbye Marie
You're too damn ugly for a rich man like me
Then Marie started numblin' her fangs started gnashin'
Her body started tremblin' and her eyes started flashin'
And she went (greeeeeee) another man done gone

So if you ever get down where the black trees grow
And meet a voodoo lady named Marie Leveau
If she ever asks you to make her your wife
Man you better stay with her for the rest of your life
Or it'll be (oheeeeeee) another man done gone
**********

4.

DADDY WHAT IF

(Shel Silverstein) « © '70 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
(Daddy what if the sun stop shinin' what would happen then)

If the sun stopped shinin' you'd be so surprised
You'd stare at the heavens with wide open eyes
And the wind would carry your light to the skies
And the sun would start shinin' again

(Daddy what if the wind stopped blowin' what would happen then)

If the wind stopped blowin' then the land would be dry
And your boat wouldn't sail son and your kite wouldn't fly
And the grass would see your troubles and she'd tell the wind
And the wind would start blowin' again

(But daddy what if the grass stopped growin' what would happen then)

If the grass stopped growin' why you'd probably cry
And the ground would be watered by the tears from your eyes
And like your love for me the grass would grow so high
Yes the grass would start growin' again

(But daddy what if I stopped lovin' you what would happen then)

If you stopped lovin' me then the grass would stop growin'
The sun would stop shinin' and the wind would stop blowin'
So you see if you wanna keep this old world a goin'
You better start lovin' me again again you better start lovin' me again
You hear me Bobby you better start lovin' me again
You love me Bobby you better start lovin' me again
**********

5.

WONDERFUL SOUP STONE

(Shel Silverstein) « © '73 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
I swear you could taste the chicken and tomatoes
And the noodles and the marrow bone
But it really wadn't nothin' but some water and potatoes
And the wonderful wonderful soup stone

Hangin' from a string in my momma's kitchen back in the hard time days
Was a little ol' stone bout the size of an apple it was smooth and worn and gray
There wadn't much food in my momma's kitchen so whenever things got tight
Momma'd boil up some water put in the stone say let's have some soup tonight

And I swear you could taste...

It'd been in the family for a whole lotta years so we knew it was a nourishing thing
And I remember momma as he stirred it in the water and we could all hear her sing
It's a magical stone and as long as we got it we'll never have a hungry night
Just add a little love to the wonderful soup stone and everything'll be all right

And I swear you could taste...

So it carried us all through the darkenin' days till finally the sunshine came
And the soup stone started in a gatherin' dust but it hung there just the same
But ever since then Lord the food's been plenty and ever now and then I find
That momma in the kitchen and the wonderful soup stone drifts across my mind

And again I'd taste taste...
We were nourished by the wonderful soup stone
Oh the wonderful wonderful soup stone
**********

6.

WINNER

(Shel Silverstein) « © '73 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
The hulk of a man with a beer in his hand he looked like a drunk old fool
And I knew if I hit him right why I could knock him off of that stool
But everybody they said watch out hey that's the Tiger Man McCool
He's had the whole lotta fights and he's always come out winner yeah he's a winner

But I had myself about five too many and I walked up tall and proud
I faced his back and I faced the fact that he had never stooped or bowed
I said Tiger Man you're a pussycat and a hush fell on the crowd
I said let's you and me go outside and see who's the winner

Well he gripped the bar with one big hairy hand then he braced against the wall
He slowly looked up from his beer my God that man was tall
He said boy I see you're a scrapper so just before you fall
I'm gonna tell you just a little bout what it means to be a winner

He said now you see these bright white smilin' teeth you know they ain't my own
Mine rolled away like Chicklets down the street in San Antone
But I left that person cursin' nursin' seven broken bones
And he only broke ah three of mine that makes me the winner

He said now behind this grin I got a steel pin that holds my jaw in place
A trophy of my most successful motorcycle race
And each morning when I wake and touch this scar across my face
It reminds me of all I got by bein' a winner

Now this broken back was the dyin' act of a handsome Harry Clay
That sticky Cincinnati night I stole his wife away
But that woman she gets uglier and she gets meaner every day
But I got her boy that's what makes me a winner

He said you gotta speak loud when you challenge me son cause it's hard for me to hear
With this twisted neck and these migraine pains and this big ole cauliflower ear
And if it wadn't for this glass eye of mine why I'd shed a happy tear
To think of all that you gonna get by bein' a winner

I got arthritic elbows boy I got dislocated knees
From pickin' fights with thunderstorms and chargin' into trees
And my nose been broke so often I might lose if I sneeze
And son you say you still wanna be a winner

Now you remind me a lotta my younger days with your knuckles a clenchin' white
But boy I'm gonna sit right here and sip this beer all night
And if there's somethin' that you gotta gain to prove by winnin' some silly fight
Well okay I quit I lose you're the winner

So I stumbled from that barroom not so tall and not so proud
And behind me I still hear the hoots of laughter of the crowd
But my eyes still see and my nose still works and my teeth're still in my mouth
And you know I guess that makes me the winner
**********

7.

IN THE HILLS OF SHILOH

(Shel Silverstein) « © '63 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Have you seen Amanda Blaine in the Hills of Shiloh
Wandering through the morning rain in the Hills of Shiloh
Have you seen her at her door listening for the cannon roar
And the man who went to war from the Hills of Shiloh

Have you heard her mournful cries in the Hills of Shiloh
Have you seen her haunted eyes in the Hills of Shiloh
Have you seen her running down searching through the sleepy town
In her yellowed wedding gown in the Hills of Shiloh

Have you seen her standing there in the Hills of Shiloh
Wind a blowing through her hair in the Hills of Shiloh
Listening for the sound of guns listening for the rolling drums
And the man who never comes to the Hills of Shiloh

Have you heard Amanda sing in the Hills of Shiloh
Whispering to her wedding ring in the Hills of Shiloh
Hear her humming soft and low poor Amanda doesn't know
Twas ended forty years ago in the Hills of Shiloh
**********

8.

SHE'S MY EVER LOVIN' MACHINE

(Shel Silverstein) « © '65 Hollis Music, BMI »
Well friends you know once I was took in
By a girl with a twinkly eye
But the first time that I wasn't lookin'
She ran off with a handsomer guy oh my
But I'm an inventin' type feller
So as soon as my brain got uncurled
I tiptoed right down to my cellar
And built a mechanical girl

Oh her arms are iron her legs are steel
Her hips are on wires attached to a wheel
And her spine is a coil that I now and then oil
She's my ever lovin' machine

She's always right there when I need her
And she's very easy to please
And hardly cost nothing to feed her
Just some water and oil and grease
She never complains when I stay out all night
She never complains that I ain't rich
And each time I want her just to cuddle me up tight
I just reach out and turn on 'er switch

Oh her arms are iron...

She has no trouble makin' her mind up
Cause friends I did not give her a mind
And her heart is a clock that I wind up
So I know that she'll love me in time
She always did what she was supposed to
Right up to this evening but then
She had an affair with a toaster
And they ran off and left me again

Oh her arms were iron her legs were steel
Her hips were on wires attached to a wheel
And her spine was a coil that I used to oil
She was my ever lovin' machine
**********

9.

MERMAID

(Shel Silverstein - Jim Friedman) « © '65 Hollis Music, BMI »
When I was a lad in fishing town an old man said to me
You can spend your life your jolly life just sailing on the sea
You can search the world for pretty girls till your eyes're weak and dim
But don't go swimming with a mermaid son if you don't know how to swim

Cause her hair is green as seaweed and her skin is blue and pale
And I tell you now before you start you can love that girl with all your heart
But you're just gonna love the upper part you're not gonna like the tail

So I signed onto a whaling ship and my very first day at sea
I seen a mermaid in the waves a reaching out to me
Come live with me in the sea said she and down on the ocean's floor
I'll show you a million wonderous things you never seen before

So over I jumped and she pulled me down down to her seaweed bed
And the pillow made of tortoise shell she placed beneath my head
She fed me shrimps and caviar upon a silver dish
From her head to her waist she was just my taste but the rest of her was a fish

Her hair was green as seaweed and her skin was blue and pale
And her face it was a work of art and I loved that girl with all my heart
But I only loved the upper part I did not like the tail

Then one day she swam away and I sang to the clams and whales
I missed her fins and her seaweed hair and the silvery shine of her scales
Then her sister she swam by and set my heart awhirl
Cause her upper part was an ugly fish but the bottom part was a girl

Yeah her toes are pink and rosy and her knees are smooth and pale
And her legs they are a work of art and I love that girl with all my heart
I don't give a damn bout the upper part and that's how I end my tale
**********

10.

REST AWHILE

(Shel Silverstein) « © '73 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Does anyone know of a girl who might like
A tired old boy on a rusty old bike
Who just pulled in today from the Florida Glades
And just got to stop and rest awhile and rest awhile

Does anyone know of someone who can use
A hard working fool who don't ever touch booze
Who's only vice is a roll of a dice
And he's just got to stop and rest awhile and rest awhile

Easy there lady I don't want no trouble I'll pay for my chili and leave
Easy there mister I got the money and if I was you I'd let go of my sleeve

Does anyone know of a place I can sleep
Where I won't hear the cry of the wind as she weeps
For a poor wandering soul who got no place to go
And just got to stop and rest awhile and rest awhile

No fellers you can't have a ride cause my bike and my girls I don't share
Hey sheriff thank you for stoppin' and being concerned bout the length of my hair

Can anyone lend me a half tank of gas
And I guess that a smile would be too much to ask
Cause your warm friendly town don't want my kind around
And I guess I can't stop and rest awhile and rest awhile

Hello mama your boys comin' home cause my bike and my dreams all got wrecked
No mama don't hung up the phone I'm sorry that I had to call you collect

Can anyone lend me a half tank...
**********

11.

BOTTOMLESS WELL

(Shel Silverstein) « © '73 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
They say there he sits in his big white wicker rocker
Eatin' candy coated cashews sippin' orange lemonade
While a sweet young thing fans the flies from off his eyebrows
He's dozin' in the green catalpa shade
Lord they say that Jesse Langtree's got it made

A little bit south of the Okechobee
There's a story that the swamp folks tell
About a mean old man named Jesse Langtree
And a sweet young maid and a bottomless well

That water's cold but that don't matter
How deep it is no one can tell
Just drop a stone you'll never hear it splatter
It just falls down down forever in the bottomless well

Through fifteen miles of snakes and gators
With the raging fever and the trembling chills
I wandered lost through the Okechobee
And there I seen 'em sittin' there by the bottomless well

Yeah now there he sits...
(Oh let's hear it for Jesse now hey Jesse)

I asked her for a drink of water
And as Jesse slept me and her we talked a spell
She said that she was his wife and daughter Lord Lord
But his heart was cold cold and dark as the bottomless well

And as he slept I bent to kiss her I heard a loud and jealous yell
Felt my head explode in darkness two big hairy arms picked me up
And dragged me to the bottomless well

I woke up in fear and trembling
I was staring down into the jaws of hell
As he held me high above his shoulders
A gonna throw me down down down to the bottomless well

Now here I sit in Jesse's big white wicker rocker
Eatin' his candy coated cashews sippin' his orange lemonade
While that sweet young thing fans the flies from off my eyebrows
I'm dozin' in the green catalpa shade
Enjoying things that Jesse Langtree made
Oh God bless you Jesse

Now some folks say that sweet thing pushed him
But I was there and I'd swear he fell
But it ain't murder cause he ain't dead cause he's still a fallin'
Goin' down down forever in the bottomless well
Goin' down down down down down bye Jesse
**********

12.

TRUE STORY

(Shel Silverstein) « © '73 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
This mornin' I jumped on my horse and went out for a ride
Some wild outlaws chased me and they shot me in the side
So I crawled into a wild cat's cave to find a place to hide
But some pirates found me a sleepin' there and soon they had me tied
Till a lady zombie cut me loose and begged to be my bride
So I said I'd come back Wednesday but I must admit I lied
Cause I run away into the swamp but I forgot my guide
And I stepped into some quicksand and no matter how I tried
I couldn't get out until I met a crocodile named Clyde
Who took me to some cannibals who planned to have me fried
They built a fire under me and I swear I almost cried
Till an eagle come and swooped me up and through the air we flied
But he dropped me in a boilin' lake a thousand miles wide
And you know what happened then I died
**********

13.

SURE HIT SONGWRITER'S PEN

(Shel Silverstein) « © '73 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
I was hangin' round Nashville writin' songs and playin' them for all of the stars
Watchin' them laugh and hand 'em back livin' on hope and Hershey bars
So I pawned my guitar and bought a ticket home
And I's a headin' for the trailway bus
When I seen an old fountain pen layin' in the gutter so I stopped and picked it up
It was worn out and bent and cast aside kinda sorta like myself
So I sat down on the curb and wrote a little song
That told the world how both of us felt
Then I run that song down the Music Row and before I had time to spit
It's pitched and sold and cut for a record
And movin' up the charts and damned it's a hit
So I wrote me another winner then I wrote me a smash again
And it's a flyin' off the ground cause I knew I found me a sure hit songrwiter pen
So the songs they just kept a pourin' out and the money kept pourin' in
Oh I just couldn't miss all it took was a twist of my sure hit songwriter's pen
Remember when I won the Grammy then I won it again and again
Well none of you knew it was all due to my sure hit songwriter's pen
I was a darling of all of the ladies I was a hero among the men
Makin' big dough workin' rodeos and TV shows me and my sure hit songwriter pen
But then one night in Wichita I was just comin' off of the stage
Folks all lined up screamin' for my autograph and Lord I was a nation rage
One little freckle faced girl was there she said I got no pencil sir
So I signed it with my songwriter pen and then handed the pen back to her
Four o'clock that morning I woke up with the shakes and the bends
With terror in my eyes cause good God I realized I'd lost my sure hit songwriter pen
I offered rewards in papers and I pleaded on the sympathy line
And a whole lotta folks sent a whole lotta pens but none of them pens was mine
So my songs got worse and my money ran out and so did all my good time friends
And there was no doubt I was nothing without my long lost sure hit songwriter pen
So I rolled like a stone down old Skid Row where I feed my blues on wine
And I rest my chops in a two-bit flop and I tell my story for a drink or a dime
And I sleep with my shoes underneath my head dream about days back then
When I blazed my name across the sky with my sure hit songwriter pen
Somewhere in Wichita some little girl who's a freckle faced and nine or ten
Is doin' her arithmetic homework tonight with the sure hit songwriter's pen
I'll say God bless you honey you got yourself a sure hit songwriter pen there
Write a song for me baby you got a sure hit songwriter pen
Send me some money you got a sure hit songwriter pen
**********

14.

ROSALIE'S GOOD EATS CAFE

(Shel Silverstein) « © '73 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
It's two in the morning on Saturday night
At Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe
The onions are frying the neon is bright
And the jukebox is startin' to play
And the sign on the wall says In God We Trust
All others have to pay
And it's two in the morning on Saturday night
At Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe

The short order cook with the momma tattoo
He's a turnin' them hamburgers slow
Eggs over easy whole wheat down
They all want that coffee to go
He never once dreamed as a rodeo star
That he'd wind up here today
At two in the morning on Saturday night
At Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe

There's a tall skinny girl in the booth in the back
Wearin' jeans and a second hand fur
She's been to the doctor then called up her man
And now wonders just where she could turn
She stares at her coffee then looks toward the ceiling
But Lord it's a strange place to pray
At two in the morning on Saturday night
At Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe

There's a guy in a tux and he stands in the corner
Feedin' the jukebox his dimes
He just had a woman and thought that he'd bought her
But found he'd just rented some time
And he couldn't sleep so he came back to see
If anyone else wants to play
At two in the morning on Saturday night
At Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe

Now there's an old dollar bill in the frame on the wall
The first one that Rose ever made
It was once worth a dollar a long time ago
But like Rose it's beginnin' to fade
She's back off the riched dreamin' of someone
And how things would be if he'd stay
But it's two in the morning on Saturday night
At Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe

The stoop shouldered man and his frizzy haired woman
It's strange how their eyes never meet
He's playin' the pinball she's fixin' the blanket
Of the baby asleep on the seat
He's out of work she's puttin' on weight
And they never did have too much to say
It's two in the morning on Saturday night
At Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe

The waitress Darlene she sits at the counter
Paintin' her fingernails blue
And the short order cook he yells move it or lose it
And pick up an order of stew
But someday a rich handsome man'll walk in
And carry her far far away
From two in the morning on Saturday night
At Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe

The shaggy haired hippie he's finished his meal
And he's countin' the change in his jeans
Burger and coffee are eighty-five cents
And he's only got twenty-three
He smiles at Rose and she winks back at him
But Lord that's a high price to pay
At two in the morning on Saturday night
At Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe

The baby faced sailor he leans on the phone
And dials the number again
While the guy in the tux tells the girl in the jeans
Bout wonderful places he's been
And a wino comes in off the street and starts shoutin'
Bout fortunes that he threw away
And Rosalie's asking the shaggy haired hippie
If he's got a warm place to stay
And the short order cook takes a five from the till
While Rosalie's looking away
And the onions keep frying the neon is bright
And the jukebox continues to play
And it's two in the morning on Saturday night
At Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe
**********