lp discography - covers & lyrics

1.

JOGGER

(Shel Silverstein) « © '83 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Well I've been a trucker now for twenty years
From the Charleston coast to the Jersey piers
And sharin' the road with the race car nuts and loggers
Sunday drivers scouts on hikes Hells Angels on Harley bikes
I never met a roader I didn't like cept them joggers

One day I'm rollin' down 1-0-1
I got 18 wheels and a 14-ton
Radio playin' a good ol' country rocker
The day was surely a trucker's dream
The sky was sunny and the air was clean
When up ahead on the road I seen one of them joggers

He was dressed like they do in baby blue
With shortie shorts and a headband too
I yelled Sweetie I bet that you are the hit of the men's room locker
Well I'm a runnin' late with an overload
So get your Adidas off a this road
I'm LA bound and I don't slow down for dead raccoons or joggers

Well without breakin' stride or losin' poise
He said you and that rig sure make some noise
But I can't talk now cause I'm racin' against the clocker
But it's just nine miles to Forkers Leap
And if you ain't afraid to race that heap
We'll see how that ol' rig holds up against a super jogger

Race I must be hearin' wrong
The boy's been runnin' in the sun too long
The only place he's a racin' to is a doctor's
But before I could say hey thank ya no
That fool yells ready get set go
And the race is on and we're off and gone me and that maniac jogger

I could've left him far behind
But I played with him like a fish on a line
And I stayed about a half a mile behind that sucker
Then I pushed her up to forty-five
And he sees me comin' and he starts to fly
So I kicked her to sixty and shift to high and finally catch that jogger
And it wasn't easy

Now I'm doin' eighty and I turned to check
And he's stayin' right with me neck in neck
His hearts a thumpin' like an engine goin' poo poon pucker prooon
Then he yelled out I hope you're set
Cause I ain't shifted into second yet
Then he unwinds and leaves me behind eaten the dust of a jogger

Then I see him a joggin' up into the sky
And he yells hey thanks for the exercise
And I hope that losin' the race was not too shockin'
Ya see my dad says heaven's no place to run
I try to be an obedient son
So I got to come down to earth to do my joggin'

Well that's the story take it or leave it
My trucker buddies they believe it
So do those race car nuts and Harley hoggers
And I'm still drivin' much the same
Cept I don't call nobody names
And I tip my hat each time I pass one of them good old joggers

Hey there's one now hey everybody hangin' in there
**********

2.

EASY AS DREAMING

(Tom Ghent) « © '83 Combine Music, BMI »
Lord it's easy as dreaming falling in love with you
But it's hard as dying knowing these dreams won't come true

Tonight as I lie here sleepless without you
And think on the sweet love we knew
That goes from the past sets me dreaming bout you
And starts that old flame up anew

And it's easy as dreaming...
[ piano ] Now I should be lettin' my poor heart forget you
And start out gettin' over the fall
But I'd rather keep you right here in my dreamin'
And never to have you at all

And it's easy as dreaming...
Just knowing these dreams won't come true
**********

3.

RODEO QUEEN

(Shel Silverstein) « © '83 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
She wakes while you sleep and tiptoes out softly
And brings you your coffee in bed
And she crawls in beside you with biscuits
And kisses until all your hungers're fed
Then she opens the paper and reads
How them rodeo rowdies have rolled into town
Then she's gone with the wind and you shook off again
And here's how it looks from the ground

With a rodeo queen belle of the ball
She's out of the shoe and she's tossin' 'em all
And if you think about it you will take the fall
Lovin' a rodeo queen
[ guitar ] She's home in the morning looks a bit weary
And smilin' a little bit strange
But she fixes your coffee and lays down beside you
Just as if nothin' had changed
And while she holds you you're holdin' back words
You know that you'd better not say
But she makes no excuses shows no regrets
And you just better love her that way

She's a rodeo queen...
She's a rodeo queen...
**********

4.

ME AND JIMMIE RODGERS

(Shel Silverstein) « © '80 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Me and Jimmie Rodgers used to ride them rollin' boxcars in the summer time
Jimmie he'd play his guitar I'd lay back and watch the stars and sip my wine
Me and Audie Murphy used to crawl out on our bellies through the German lines
Audie I won't leave you here I'll pull you through cause buddy you're a pal of mine

Me and Phil Rizzuto didn't we move round like lightnin' on the double play
I'd look over in the stand and Marilyn should see me and she'd smile and wave
Hell no Coach Lombardi this broken back ain't nothin' if the game was saved
And fellers if I don't pull through just put a little golden football on my grave

John Wayne he once said to me them Japs will take the Island
And we've got to save the old Red White and Blue
Someone's got to swim out to the submarine and warn 'em
And Bare you know I hate like hell to ask you to

Me and Tony Zarro we used to spar together up in Stillman's Gym
Knowing someday it would be the Garden and the championship for me or him
And Coop if no one in this town is man enough to back you when Frank Miller comes
Then come High Noon I'll walk with you I may be young but I know how to use a gun

Judy Grable don't you cry you know you can be a star
And with my drinkin' I'd just hold you back
Go on and sign the contracts hon and I'll read about you
In some old newspaper blowin' cross some lonesome hobo camp

Me and Jimmie Rodgers we still ride them rollin' boxcars in the summer time
Jimmie he plays his guitar I lay back and watch the stars and sip my wine
Me and Audie Murphy we still crawl out on our bellies through the German lines
At away there's scooter shoot that ball to me and I swear we'll get two this time
**********

5.

THREE LEGGED MAN

(Shel Silverstein) « © '65 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Well now friends you'd never guess it so I really must confess it
I just met the sweetest woman of my long dismal life
But a friend of mine said buddy just in case your mind is muddy
Don't you know that girl you're fooling with is Peg-Leg Johnson's wife
And that man is hard and cold and mean and grim
And he'll catch you and he'll brain you with his artificial limb

But next morning bright and early I stole old Peg-Leg's girlie
And I also took his wooden leg just to play it safe
But there weren't no time for laughter cause he started hopping after
And I keep on running faster but he won't give up the chase
And I'm running through the mountains with his bride
And I got his wooden leg here by my side

I'm a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
Being chased across country by a one-legged fool
Though he's hoppin' and he's clappin' and he shows no sign of stoppin'
I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel

Through the deserts and the valleys and those dark Chicago alleys
Cross the muddy Mississippi to the hills of Caroline
Through the mountains of Montana and the swamps of Louisiana
Each time that I look back he's just about one foot behind
And I know he must be cold and wet and sick
But in spite of all his troubles he can kick

Oh he's ragged and he's filthy and I'm feeling kinda guilty
Specially in the evenings when I hear him plead and beg
He says in spite of all your stealing friend I bear you no hard feelings
You can keep that damned old woman but please give me back my leg
Cause old friend I know you think you took my wooden leg
But in the dark you made a mistake you took my good leg

I'm a three-legged man...
I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel
**********

6.

DIET SONG

(Shel Silverstein) « © '78 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Breakfast black coffee one slice of dry toast no butter no jelly no jam
Lunch just some lettuce two celery stalks no booze no potatoes no ham
Dinner one chicken wing broiled not fried no gravy no biscuits no pie
And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die

So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's all
Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial it's drivin' me right up the wall
And I'm thinkin' of french fries sausage and waffles spaghetti and cookies and cake
And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream
And I'm starvin' to death when I wake
[ guitar ] Supper two pieces of cauliflower raw some beefsteak the size of a nail
One sliced tomato a small dab of slaw I swear I ate better in jail
Stop eatin' that pizza right under my nose girl that's the least you can do
Put down that candy bar while I'm singin' I'm starvin' my pants off for you

You're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed potatoes
But it's bouillon and water for me
Hey you got a lock on the refrigerator Lord knows where you're hidin' the key
While I'm starvin' for food late at night I'm starvin' for lovin' from you
But you say that when I can see my own dick you'll be glad to look at it too

So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's all
You and Jane Fonda and old Richard Simmons are drivin' me right off the wall
Now when I am dead with the insurance paid you'll look down at me and you'll grin
You'll say well the boy tried and he suffered and died
But don't he look good when he's thin oh my
And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die
**********

7.

JENNIFER JOHNSON AND ME

(Shel Silverstein - Fred Koller) « © '76 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Deep in the pocket of an old sport coat jacket
I chanced to discover an old memory
Three for a quarter black and white picture
Takin' up Jennifer Johnson and me
I'm in the corner with my shirt collar open
Like some latin lover on late nite TV
Sittin' right there with her head on my shoulder
Jennifer Johnson she's smilin' at me

Three for a quarter black and white picture
Jenny close a curtain so no one can see
Now kiss me quick while the red light is flashing
Flashing on Jennifer Johnson and me

It must have been summer nineteen-sixty-seven
The Beatles were singing that love's all you need
I held her hand while we walked through the arcade
Two young believers on a three dollars spree
Later that night holding close in the darkness
I felt her warmth in the cool evening breeze
I told her I probably love her forever
Forever for Jennifer Johnson and me

Three for a quarter...

Three for a quarter black and white picture
Two young believers on a three dollars spree
I'll save your picture in my sport coat pocket
Jennifer Johnson did you save one of me
**********

8.

DRINKIN' FROM THE BOTTLE (SINGIN' FROM THE HEART)

(Shel Silverstein) « © '83 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Drinkin' from the bottle and singin' from the heart
Cryin' blues in motel rooms Lord the hard times weren't that hard
And some fell in and some fell out and some just fell apart
Drinkin' from the bottle and singin' from the heart

Harlan sang us Heartaches By The Number one more time
Johnny tell us how that woman helped you Walk the Line
Willie sing us Hello Walls cause we all know our flaws
We've been drinkin' from the bottle and singin' from the heart

That blonde there sittin' on the floor my sad song made her cry
I think she caught my zipper bout the time I caught her eye
Well she can take my body home but who's gonna drive the car
We've been drinkin' from the bottle and singin' from the heart

Drinkin' from the bottle...
[ steel ] Now I sip my Chivits from a fancy crystal glass
A young ambitions eight piece pot band a pushin' at my ass
While we're singin' for the money I think back to the start
When we were drinkin' from the bottle and singin' from the heart

So let's start drinkin' from the bottle...
**********

9.

SOMEPLACE TO COME WHEN IT RAINS

(Shel Silverstein) « © '81 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Lady you see me with now and again in this dimly lit hideway place
With skin soft as velvet and warm reaching hands
And the sweet look of love on her face
And you say ain't he lucky just look at those eyes
She's worth any price you can name
And you think that she's mine but you don't realize
I'm just someplace to come when it rains

Someplace to hide when she's tired of the ride
Just someone to soften the pain
Lord knows where she plays on her sunshiny days
I'm just someplace to come when she can't find the sun
Just someplace to come when it rains

The lady she dances so light in my arms I swear she could float me away
And she gives me the feeling I'm safe from all harm
Just as long as she holds me that way
And I can't say she's wrong cause I've known all along
Her lovin' is well worth the pain
So wherever it leads I'll be there when she needs
Someplace to come when it rains

Someplace to hide when she's tired of the ride...
I'm just someplace to come when it rains
**********

10.

STACY BROWN GOT TWO

(Shel Silverstein) « © '72 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Did you hear about Stacy Brown (no we didn't but we'd like to)
He had every chick in town (no he didn't but he tried to)
He got looks he got class do anything to get a little lass
Everybody shouts at him as he walks his girlies past

They say everybody got one (everybody got one)
Everybody got one (everybody got one)
Everybody got one (everybody got one) Stacy Brown got two

Do you know the reason for his success (no we don't so tell us)
They say that he was double blessed (not like those fellas)
They say that Stacy Brown was born just a little bit deformed
That's why his girl friends they all wake up smilin' every morn

Singin' everybody got one (everybody got one)...

Why they're climbin' up the wall (just to get to Stacy)
Young ones run and the old ones crawl (he drives us crazy)
He got two and that's a fact but no one knows where the other one's at
On his elbow on his knee or underneath his hat

Ooh everybody got one (everybody got one)...
He got two yes it's true oh neighbors talkin' my girl friend she's jealous
**********

11.

TIME

(Shel Silverstein) « © '69 Evil Eye Music, BMI »
Ain't the snow fallin' just a bit deeper these days
Ain't they're building the stairs a bit steeper these days
And the town's really changin' in so many ways it's time time

The young folks you're growin' uncommonly tall
And the newspaper print is becomin' so small
And folks talk so soft you can barely hear at all it's time just time

Jokes aren't as witty as the old jokes once were
And the girls ain't half as pretty as I remember her
And today on the bus a grown man called me sir it's time just time
[ steel ] You know I ain't quite as anxious for fame or success
And my eye finds the girl in the plain simple dress
And I cling a bit longer to each warm caress that's time just time

So it takes a bit longer to walk up a hill
What of it but my life now is much more fulfill
But they're tearin' down the buildings that I watched them build it's time time
**********