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April 2017
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Artists: 678 Albums: 10542 Songs: 133440 Lyrics: 58348 Covers: 10506

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Apr 2015
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Tommy Collins

The Dynamic Tommy Collins

Columbia CS-9310
Jul / 1966

Produced by Don Law & Frank Jones

Cover image of The Dynamic Tommy Collins

Grady Martin, Harold Bradley, Ray Edenton - guitar
Lloyd Green - steel
Bob Moore, Joe Zinkan - bass
Buddy Harman - drums
Tommy Jackson - fiddle
Bill Pursell - piano
Charlie McCoy - harmonica
Vocals:
The Jordanaires
Recorded:
Mar/1966, Columbia Recording Studio, Nashville

1.

(# 7 country hit)

If You Can't Bite Don't Growl

Tommy Collins

© Red River Songs, BMI

I whistled out at pretty girl on a corner down town
She saw me when I winked my eye and then she turned around
She came and took me by the arm I told her that it mean no harm
She said to me with a certain kind of scowl
If you don't mean a thing don't whistle if you can't bite don't growl
[ guitar ]
One night I left the wife at home and went out with the boys
I was actin' like a dumb one a makin' a lot of noise
A go-go girl hold my hand I said I can't I'm a married man
She said if you're gonna steal you better not crowl
Don't do-si-do with a go-go if you can't bite don't growl
[ harmonica ]
I went home to the little wife and grabbed her at the door
I kissed her like a mad man and let out a lion roar
I jumped down from a chandelier and beat my chest and said come here
She said if you can't haunt you better not howl
I'm often skitty with me and mama if you can't bite don't growl
[ guitar ]
I jumped down from a chandelier and beat my chest and said come here
She said if you can't haunt you better not howl
I'm often skitty with me and mama if you can't bite don't growl

**********

2.

Fool's Castle

Tommy Collins

© Red River Songs, BMI

It's a big house on a hilltop
Fine carpets on the floor
Expensive polished marble
Are the steps up to the door
Ivy's climbin' up to the rooftop
As if there's something it'd like to hide
People call it the Fool's Castle
And I'm the fool that lives inside

The girl is gone that warmed the castle
Now it's dark the flame has died
It's a big house on a hilltop
Without love without pride
People call it the Fool's Castle
And I'm the fool that lives inside

She used to live here I thought she was lucky
She had what most girls only dream of
I gave her diamonds silk and satin
I gave her everything but love
So with my givin' I gave her nothin'
She wanted only to be by my side
Yes they call it the Fool's Castle
And I'm the fool that lives inside

The girl is gone that warmed the castle...

**********

3.

Poor Broke Mixed Up Mess Of A Heart

Tommy Collins - Merle Haggard

© Tree Publ, BMI

Oh you poor broke mixed up mess of a heart
A little bitty woman just took you and tore you apart
I tried to warn you a thousand times
You wouldn't listen nor pay no mind
You poor broke mixed up mess of a heart

I watched her buy her ticket at Charlotte North Carolina
I heard her say one way please to Denver
She's goin' to meet that other guy
And it won't do us no good to cry
Cause she's wearin' his ring on her finger

Oh you poor broke mixed up mess of a heart...
[ steel ]
I watched her tip the porter as she stepped aboard that midnight train
Bound to take her faraway forever
I watched the tail light fade away
Knowing she was gone to stay
I just wish this broken heart is going with her

Oh you poor broke mixed up mess of a heart...
You poor broke mixed up mess of a heart

**********

4.

Be Serious Ann

Tommy Collins

© Red River Songs, BMI

I have come to tell you of my love for you Ann
With a small diamond ring for the finger of your left hand
Are you smilin' are you cryin' no you're laughin'
Be serious Ann if you can one time

My heart is a pound and it took all my nerve to come here
This is my first time to love anyone so dear
What's funny am I a clown which you're laughin'
Be serious Ann if you can one time
[ guitar ]
There's not any need for you to joke quite so much Ann
You've no right to do this to torture a regular man
Stop your laughin' please Ann I don't like it
Be serious Ann if you can one time

You're laughin' at me again and I can't stand it Ann
You've mocked me and ruined me and now you're a dye at my hand
I love you which you laugh at me and I warn you
Be serious Ann be serious one time

**********

5.

Skinny

Tommy Collins

© Central Songs, BMI

This is a story about an underdog the skinny fella
You know a skinny guy gets kicked around and whipped cussed and threatened
But what people don't realize is he's dangerous

(Skinny skinny skinny)

Now just below Houston right near Baytown
There lived a skinny guy that everybody pushed around
The big boys laughed at his skinny frame
He's just skin and bones so they give 'em a name
They called him Skinny

Well ole Skinny tried hard to mix with the crowd
He took up drinkin' and cussin' out loud
He tried tellin' jokes well they laughed alright
They laughed at the size of the boy called Skinny
Oh he is Skinny (Skinny Skinny Skinny)

And then one day along about noon
A cowpoke staggered from a town saloon
A wind came up and Skinny blew by
He didn't mean any harm he wadn't a troublesome guy just Skinny

Well the boozed up saddle tramp made a wise crack
But Skinny didn't answer didn't even look back
The cowpoke rushed him pushin' for a fight
Cowpoke was heavy and of course Skinny was light

Well old Skinny took a beatin' with his hands at his side
Wouldn't land a blow to save his own hide
For the ornery cowpoke was ole Texas Pearl
He wouldn't hit her cause Pearl was a girl

Then the town's big bully made a big mistake
He started razzin' Skinny and that was all he could take
Skinny raised up his arm of solid bone
Drove it through his heart and the bully just groaned

Now all you big bully's had better take heed
Learn a lesson from this man's deed
Pick on a big guy if you pick on any
And never fool around with a guy that's Skinny
(Skinny Skinny Skinny )

**********

6.

Two Sides Of Life

Tommy Collins

© Tree Publ, BMI

(Just a picture of the two sides of life)

Many years ago an artist was hired to paint the Lord's Supper scene
He selected live models to pose for each one so he had to have thirteen
Each man was carefully chosen according to personal traits
Yes the artist took great caution in painting this portrait of greats
Eleven were finished in a very short time from Andrew to Bartholomew
Each figure was skillfully brushed into place that is all except two
Then a search began that took some years in which dozens were interviewed each week
When the man for Jesus was finally found a man undefiled and meek
He was clean of body and mind and soul his eyes were gentle and clear
The artist rejoiced and the great painting grew as the figure of Jesus was put there
That left only Judas the betrayer to do and the painting would be complete
But where could a face be found to resemble the master of deceit
A face that told of treachery and greed such loss of character and sin
As of one who pretended to live unrightly and then betrayed with a kiss his best friend

Five years passed by and the aging artist was viewing his work one day
When a man walked in from off the streets and his face caused the painter to say
Sir before us here is an unfinished painting there's a blank space as you can see
I have yet to paint the portrait of Judas would you mind posing for me
The man consented and soon it was done the masterpiece was finished at last
Each face was detailed and told it's own story of that sacred event in the past
Then that man from the street said don't you know me you've seen me before you know
I'm the one who posed for Jesus just four or five years ago
But I took the wrong road of life somehow and ignored each warning sign
I didn't know it would change me so but the life you painted is mine
I wonder if there might be a chance for me to regain part of what I've lost
The devil has paid me in counterfeit money and I'm gonna change whatever the cost
(Just a picture of the two sides of life)

**********

7.

(# 52 country hit)

Big Dummy

Tommy Collins

© Red River Songs, BMI

Mirror mirror what am I this mornin' (big dummy)
What do you call a guy that ain't got no learnin' (big dummy)
I spent every dime that I made last week
And there ain't even lipstick on my cheek
What's another way to say overlay meek (big dummy)

I could've kissed her a dozen times last night (big dummy)
A pretty little buddy and I wouldn't hold it tight (big dummy)
I ran out of gas in my old clunk
And I ran I gotta spare it outta my trunk
Sometimes I think I oughta be a monk (big dummy)
[ guitar ]
It wadn't very late but I thought I better take her on in (big dummy)
I couldn't hardly talk for a quiver in my chin (big dummy)
She said let's sit in a parlor awhile
She gave me a wink and a great big smile
I said I better go gotta drive ten miles (big dummy)

I got up my nerve next week from big brother Luke (now you're talkin' hahaha)
He told me high steppin' girls don't like the spook (haha haha)
But she told me she didn't want me around
Said you go jump in the river and drown
She's goin' out with that naughty Bill Brown
(Big dummy now you're a big dummy)

**********

8.

Little Time For A Little Love

Tommy Collins

© Red River Songs, BMI

A little time a little love is not wastin'
For time has its way of slipping by
Before we know it life is gone what kind of mem'ries linger on
When a little time for a little love has been denied

I don't need every minute of your day
Just a little now and then will make my heartaches go away
A little kiss a little squeeze is what heaven would be
A little time for a little love for you and me
[ steel ]
I don't need every minute of your day...

**********

9.

Girl On Sugar Pie Lane

Tommy Collins

© Tree Publ, BMI

There's a girl in the house on the street called Sugar Pie Lane
I've traveled that street in the sleet and the heat and the rain
There's a mighty good reason I'd make it in mean hurricane
Cause I love the girl in the house on the Sugar Pie Lane

There's a hug and a kiss that's always a waitin' there for me
And I'm a big fool but that little Jool any fool can see
I sure like to be with her and I'm makin' it plain
To the girl in the house on the street called the Sugar Pie Lane
[ steel - guitar ]
There's a finger on the hand of the girl on the Sugar Pie Lane
And I been a thinkin' maybe it needs a little rain
One of these days I'm hopin' I'll change her name
The girl in the house on the street called the Sugar Pie Lane

There's a hug and a kiss that's always a waitin' there for me
And I'm a big fool but that little Jool any fool can see
One of these days I'm hopin' I'll change her name
The girl in the house on the street called the Sugar Pie Lane
The girl in the house on the street called the Sugar Pie Lane

**********

10.

There's No Girl In My Life Anymore

Tommy Collins

© Red River Songs, BMI

No presents to buy no ribbons to tie
No reason to go to the store
There's not any need to have my suit clean
There's no girl in my life anymore
There's no girl in my life anymore

There's not any use to shine up my shoes
Or the try to look neat like before
I don't have to comb my hair I ain't going anywhere
There's no girl in my life anymore
There's no girl in my life anymore

Every time I turn around I see there's somethin' less to do
Pretty soon there won't be nothin' but just dreaming of you

No phone calls come in the silence won't end
No noise but my feet on the floor
I don't know what I'll do and it's all because of you
There's no girl in my life anymore
There's no girl in my life anymore
[ steel ]
I don't know what I'll do and it's all because of you
There's no girl in my life anymore
There's no girl in my life anymore

**********

11.

(# 47 country hit)

Shindig In The Barn

Tommy Collins

© Central Songs, BMI

Hello mother here's your boy a talkin' and I got somethin' wonderful to say
You know that girl I mentioned in my letter well I'm bringin' her home Saturday
We're gonna tie a knot in Albuquerque then we'll start out early in the morn
Tell all my friends the news get on your dancin' shoes
There's gonna be a shindig in the barn

A fiddle playin' guitar pickin' do-si-do and heel a kickin'
Regular ol' shindig in the barn
[ fiddle ]
I met up with her out in California and ma she's a whole lot like you
Quiet turned and pretty and old-fashioned yellow hair and great big eyes of blue
Tell Orval Short to tune up his old fiddle and please leave at home his jug of corn
Get the boys to lend a hand and clean its spick and span
There's gonna be a shindig in the barn

A hand clappin' punch drinkin' foot stompin' partner swingin'
Regular ol' shindig in the barn
[ fiddle ]
I'm a little worried about big brother he's awful bad at joking like a fool
Be sure to tell him not to get too personal and tease her about our honeymoon
Tell pa the shaved look is finest his eyes are gonna lie up more I warn
Oh I can hardly wait to roll up at the gate
Cause there's gonna be a shindig in the barn

A fiddle playin' guitar pickin' do-si-do and heel a kickin'
Regular ol' shindig in the barn

**********



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