1.

S.W.A.K.

Johnny McRae

© Mimosa Publ, BMI

Sweetheart your letter came today
Now all the fellows are laughing at me
Cause there's lip prints and S.W.A.K.
On the back of the letter where everyone can see

My darling don't write swak on the back of your letters anymore
Stop writin' that crap all over the flap of the envelope
It's embarrassing to me when the other fellows see
Your lip prints the size of a cantelope

Anything you want to say you don't have to display
You don't need to hurt my pride
With all that ooey gooey mushy gushy stuff you always write on the backside
Don't write swak on the back of my letters anymore
Cause swak is makin' a jack out of me

Don't write swak on the back of your letters anymore
Stop put that lip code where that zip code outta be
I'm the laugh all over camp when they see your personal stamp
I'm becomin' a wide personality

Anything you want to say you don't have to display
You don't need to hurt my pride
With all that ooey gooey mushy gushy stuff you always write on the backside
Don't write swak on the back of my letters anymore
Stop writin' that junk that is makin' a monkey out of me

When the sargent passes out the mail
My knees get weak and I turn pale
You can hear him yell for a mile away
Who in the is private S.W.A.K.
S.W.A.K.

**********

2.

Don't Blow Your Horn

Dallas Frazier - Leon Ashley

© Acuff-Rose Music, BMI

I eat my supper at the mission and wait for the sun to set
And then start lookin' for a place to make my bed
I don't dream nothin' but nightmares about a woman I'm sorry I met
Awakin' up to a mixed up past and a tore up head

I ain't got a nickel in my pocket I ain't got a brain in my skull
Nothin' in this world but me to prove I was born
If you see me stumble in a cross walk or walkin' down the middle of a road
Do me a favor and don't blow your horn
[ guitar ]
I got broke down and ragged from thinkin' with a fool's IQ
My empty skull took in every word that she said
If I ever see that woman I'm gonna tighten up the lace in my shoes
And take off runnin' and run till it kills me dead

I ain't got a nickle in my pocket I ain't got a brain in my skull...
Do me a favor and don't blow your horn

**********

3.

I Wouldn't Do It

Johnny McRae

© House Of Paxton Music, BMI

If you ask me to climb up a mountain
To prove that my love is the best
I wouldn't do it I wouldn't do it
That's all there is to it I just wouldn't do it
Cause high places scare me to death

If you ask me to swim across the ocean
To prove my devotion to you
I wouldn't do it I wouldn't do it
That's all there is to it I just wouldn't do it
Cause salt water makes me turn blue

If I should go climbing and swimming about
Just what would it prove besides pooping me out
Suppose I should drown or fall down on my head
Just what would it prove now except I are dead

If you ask me to cross the burning desert
To prove just how much I love you
I wouldn't do it I wouldn't do it
That's all there is to it I just wouldn't do it
Cause I can't stand sand in my shoes
That's all there is to it

**********

4.

Brooklyn Bridge

Bobby Bare - Lance Guyness

© Central Songs, BMI / Warener-Tamerlane Publ, BMI

Well there I stood in that great big city
Where the buildings're tall and the girls're real pretty
Up stepped a man he said come here son
And I got a big deal if you got the mon'
And I bought it got myself the Brooklyn Bridge
Two dollars two cigarettes and a autograph picture
Of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass

Kept that old bridge for a day or so
But then my money got kinda runnin' low
So I tried to make me a sale
But the man come and carried me off to jail
Said I was crazy laughed at me down there
Then he said that society frowned
On buying bridges without a licence

Then he stood me up in a front of a judge
And I just stood there a grinnin' but the judge didn't budge
He said thirty dollars or thirty days
And I just looked at him and all I could say
Was I said judge I believe I'll take that thirty dollars
Couldn't make it thirty-five could you
I done blowed all my money on that darned ole bridge

Well after about ninety days in that jail
I'm still tryin' to make me a sale
I met some cat called Skid Row Pete
And I traded my bride off for 42nd Second Street
Oh it's a big deal I'm a big man of action it was a big transaction

I bet the folks back home could never realize
That in a great big town this size
A boy like there's could own his own street
Heck I spend my days just keepin' it neat
Picked up a lot a cigarette butts, wine bottles
And I believe everybody in new York City Has got a big old dog or two
I'll bet skid row Pete don't have all them problems on his bridge
I believe I'll go on down and get me a bridge

**********

5.

Peel Me A Nanner

Bill Anderson

© Johnny Bienstock Music, BMI

Peel me a nanner toss me a peanut
I'll come swinging from a coconut tree
Peel me a nanner toss me a peanut
You sure made a monkey out of me

There I was in all of my innocence
Loving you with all of my might
I come to find I didn't have any sense
You had a different darling every night

Peel me a nanner toss me a peanut...

I gave you kisses and I gave you loving
Tried to please your every little whim
It all added up to a big bad nothing
Last night you upped and ran away with him

Peel me a nanner toss me a peanut...
Peel me a nanner toss me a peanut...

You sure made a monkey out of me
You sure made a monkey out of me
You sure made a monkey out of me

**********

6.

Someone Sweet To Love

George Jones

© Glad Music, BMI / Pappy Daily Music, BMI

Mama knows her child is ailin'
What is wrong there ain't no tellin'
She don't know what's run my fever up
Wants to take me to the clinic
I don't need to see no dentist
All I need is someone sweet to love

Don't you bring me Dr Jake
I'm strong enough to swim the lake
All I need is what I'm dreamin' of
She lives just around some corner
Help me out or I'm a goner
I gotta find me someone sweet to love
[ dobro ]
I worked hard to make my money
Robbin' bee hives of their honey
Everything but one fits like a glove
So don't send me no nice long letter
Askin' me if I feel better
I gotta find someone sweet to love

Don't you bring me Dr Jake...
[ guitar - harmonica ]
Don't you bring me Dr Jake...

I gotta find me someone sweet to love
I gotta find me someone sweet to love

**********

7.

My Dirty Lowdown Rotten Cotton Pickin' Little Darlin'

Jack Clement

© Songs Of PolyGram, BMI

Oh my dirty lowdown rotten cotton-pickin' little darlin'
Has went and left and gone
My stinkin' no good apple knockin' cowgirl
Has done her poor ole cowboy wrong

Oh I'm up to my ears in tears
And all the cows are lonesome for you
And my horse of course is blue too
For my dirty lowdown rotten cotton-pickin' little darlin'
[ guitar ]
Oh my dirty lowdown rotten cotton-pickin' little darlin'
She is my pride and joy
But my lousy no account little cowgirl
Really knows how to hurt an ole cowboy

Oh my eyes are red from all the tears I've shed
And my throat is sore from all that cryin'
And my horse of course is horse too
From cryin' for my dirty lowdown rotten cotton-pickin' little darlin' No 2

**********

8.

Change Of Wife

Sam Allred

© Geezinslaw Music, BMI

My wife never did get out of the house much
She loved to wash and scrub and iron and sow
Then she found out why I never did come home much
From them songs that she heard on the radio
On the country show

She heard of husbands hangin' out in beer halls
Of swinging doors and neon signs and glee
She said if thems the things that attracts my husband
I'll fix it so he'll stay at home with me

Oh she put a jukebox in the bedroom
There's a great long shuffle board in the hall
A big revolvin' beer sign's in the kitchen
And she says she'll get the ice machine next fall
[ guitar ]
And then she went and hired a band ever weekend
And I tell you at first I got a little bit sore
But you know now that I'm kinda used to all these new arrangements
I tell you a fact I do stay home a whole lot more

Since she put a jukebox in the bedroom...

That's a lot better than havin' to buy ice in a sack
Then she went and had the front yard paved
And had it stripped up real good so you could park good
I wanted to call the place The Broken Spoke
But she said we oughta call it Sam's Place cause of that record that was out
She got a real good deal on pretzels
And we got sawdust all over the front yard
10 cent beer every Wednesday night
And stag girls gets in free on Fridays
Which is kind of a big boom for the business

**********

9.

I'm A People

Dallas Frazier

© Acuff-Rose Music, BMI / Husky Music, BMI

Now if I was a monkey a workin' for a livin'
I'd be a gittin' instead of a givin'
A hangin' by my tail waitin' for the dinnerbell
Puttin' humans on

Everday them fools rush in
And lay down the cash and watch me grin
I'd put 'em all on I'd hum a little song
Watch 'em all go tee-hee

But I spell a P a little bitty E
Sweet bop bop bop shooby dooby dough and a little round O
Now you add another P a big skinny L
Plus a one more E and you got a people that looks like me

Now a monkey don't have to go downtown
And ask for a job and get turned down
I'm mad at me I could smash me
Cause I'm a people
[ guitar ]
Now a monkey don't have to shoe his feet
All he do is scratch his fleas
Oh me what luxury
But I'm a people

But I spell a P a little bitty E...

If someone knocked on my door today
There'd be a little sign says gone away
Down to the zoo a diggin' you know who
Cause I'm a people

**********

10.

Beautiful Beautiful Banjo

Jack Clement

© Songs Of PolyGram, BMI

I once had a wife named Lilly
And I loved her really
But her love for me one day grew chilly
She said there's thirteen one hundred and fifty-two guitar pickers in Nashville
And she called me a dirty lowdown banjo pickin' hillbilly

Beautiful beautiful banjo
Beautiful a beautiful banjo
Beautiful a beautiful banjo
I'll never pick guitar again

My second wife's name was Mazie
She said I wish you'd get a job
That pickin' is drivin' me crazy
You no good banjo pickin' slob

Beautiful beautiful banjo...
[ banjo ]
My third wife's name was Annie
The love that we knew was uncanny
But our love fell flat on it's fanny
When she kicked my old banjo
Singin' now

Beautiful beautiful banjo...
I'll never pick guitar again

Beautiful beautiful banjo...
I'll never pick guitar again

**********

11.

Ride Ride Ride

Liz Anderson

© Acuff-Rose Music, BMI

If you don't want me baby if you're not satisfied
If you don't care get on your horse and ride ride ride

Since you been on your high horse those fancy friends you found
You've had a hard time seeing me you're always looking down

If you don't want me baby if you ain't satisfied...
[ mandolin ]
You talked about me honey and you tried to tear me down
But while you're throwing dirt at me you're slowly losin' ground

If you don't want me baby if you're not satisfied...
[ mandolin ]
I'll have your second fiddle returned to you today
Cause baby that's one instrument I never learned to play

If you don't want me baby if you're not satisfied...
[ mandolin ]
If you don't want me baby if you're not satisfied...

**********

12.

If You Want Me To

Roger Miller

© Tree Publishing, BMI

Thunder rollin' lightin' flashin'
Right through the middle of it I'd go dashin'
Goes to show how far I'd go for you
If you want me to

Hurricane winds blows grief and sorrow
But I'd go through one tomorrow
Goes to show how far I'd go for you
If you want me to

There' s no limit to what all I would do for you
Anything you ask of me I'll make it my destiny

Well hunder rollin' lightin' flashin'...
[ guitar ]
Thunder rollin' lightin' flashin'...

Hurricane winds blows grief and sorrow...

There' s no limit to what all I would do for you
Anything you ask of me I'll make it my destiny

Well hunder rollin' lightin' flashin'...

Oh darlin'
I'd climb up the highest mountain to look into your pretty blue eyes
And I'd swim the icy river to hold your soft little hand
And I'd walk through the burnin' forrest barefooted if you wanted me to
To kiss your ruby red lips
I'll be over to see you tomorrow night if it don't rain

There' s no limit to what all I would do for you
Anything you ask of me I'll make it my destiny

Well hunder rollin' lightin' flashin'...

Goes to show how far I'd go for you
If you want me to

**********